Sunday, September 19, 2004

another blonde moment

so, I got back from church today and like usual, parked in Walker parking to go to lunch. After a stimulating discussion and much enjoyable friends, I strolled back to North and started the homework. Fairly soon after that, I needed to take some matte board to the art building to be cut, so I hopped into the elevator and went out with my key in hand to my car...well, then I stood in North parking lot for several minutes scanning the cars and trying not to panic that mine wasn't amongst them. When the realization of what I had done hit me, I laughingly strolled up the hill to my car and proceeded on to the art building. I so often lose my car, you wouldn't think was possible.

Sunday, August 29, 2004


I've realized this summer and now through this first week of school how overwhelmingly excited I get when I think about my career choice and learning about how to do it well. I was flipping through a booklet advertising something and it was done so well that I got really excited and even started to shake. Even reading my marketing homework and gleaning business stragies from it made me very thrilled to be studying and striving towards this graphic design goal. These are good times when my confidence is overridden by my excitement. It is such an amazing feeling to be chasing a dream. Wow, that sounded really cheesy, but I really meant it.

word of the day that I actually used (correctly) without even thinking about it: precarious
oh yes, I was excited about this usage.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

swirling and swooshing, circling and mixing

I have many emotions surging through me. I seem to be a rollercoaster of up and down, but actually, I'm just a mixture. They are all happening at once and I feel like I'm spinning waiting to see which I land on next and how I'm going to handle it. I've been feeling lonely, which is absolutely and totally absurd and ridiculous. I'm at school, with...everyone. So many faces, so much to take in. I loved orientation and had a wonderful first day. So, how can I feel lonely? Why am I still fearful of this semester? It just doesn't make sense.
please tell me it's not just because I'm a girl. I think I'll scream if so.

I go to sleep now. It always looks different in the morning. Goodnight dear void.

Friday, August 13, 2004


I sit here excitedly awaiting the Olympic's opening ceremony and comtemplating the past couple of days. I think I will make this short and just leave some thought and questions.
Situation: I'm at work with coworkers that I have grown very fond of, despite our disagreements of values and morals. As I leave, one who is working later than I, sweetly asks me to do a quick favor for her and run across the street to buy a pack of cigarettes. What do I do?

And, a simple question. Is it possible for guys and girls to just be friends? Ok, maybe a little more to this one - Christian to Christian, non-Christian to non-Christian, & most curious to me: Christian to non-Christian. Is friendship possible?

Feedback is desired.
Maybe some more background to this later, but for now, I'm watching the Olympics. Ciao!

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

5 days and counting....or 4 days

I always have a hard time with countdowns. I'm never sure when I should start counting or what. I'm ready to go back to school. I love this time of year, especially with this weather. It is beautiful. High 60's - low 70's. Wal-Mart and every other chain store aisles are packed with Back-to-school stuff. I absolutely adore pens and paper and markers. It gets me so excited. I'm reminded of a quote: "Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address." Bet nobody can guess what that is from. Mmmm....a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils. I don't know if that would excite me much. Pens on the otherhand - that's a different story.
Well, I just got back from the shot clinic where I received 2 wonderful shots. These were necessary in order for me to go see my sister and the baby and my bro-in-law at Christmas. In half an hour, I will go to work. I'm tired of working. I worked so much this weekend. 6 hours here, 7 there, and 12 on Saturday. Yep, 12 hours. Did anyone else cringe at that thought. I worked 7 hours last night which was absolutely awful. Coupons just came out. People are so excited when coupons come out and they ransack the place. It was nuts and I nearly lost it. I don't like it when I almost lose it. But, on the other hand, I made a $100 in tips. That somewhat makes the night worthwhile. Not completely though. I am very much looking forward to being back at school. I dreamt something really weird last night though about North Hall and all its mysteries.
Off to get ready for work I go. Actually, I'm going to find a Mountain Dew. Yes, a Mountain Dew at 10 in the morning. Have a lovely day!

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

the brilliance of technology


I am very fond of this kid already.

Today was actually quite wonderful. I slept in since I worked til 1:30 last night, then I finished a book, Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis(really good by the way), and then I went for a 20 minute run in the wonderful Kansas City heat. It was quite energizing, somewhat. I also shopped a tad at Target and find, oh yes, red shoes. I am thrilled about this and actually am wearing them while I write(of this girlness, I am ashamed). Then I had a quick cup of coffee with a friend while we chatted and caught up on each other's lives and I rushed after that off to work. Work, was work. We had a lot of people come in at the beginning and then a party of 35 (oh joy) and and finally we had nothing for a long time. I made less than normal tonight, but I loved this night. Luke and Neal(highschool friends) and a couple of their girl friends came in to see me - that made my night. Also, I got to have break with one of my bosses, Jason, whom I absolutely adore and that was quite wonderful in that we talked a lot and(I hope) that maybe something continues to show through about me. He is a wonderful guy and cares much for his employees. A dear, sweet man. I then came home to my sweet folks and found 5 e-mails from my brother-in-law with darling pictures of my darling niece, and also a 30 second video of her. So precious. She is, by far, the most adorable newborn I have ever seen. I wonder if it is because I am partial to her...but I didn't expect to think she was cute as a newborn. I usually find them quite unattractive within the first couple of weeks. Anyway, I cherish these pictures. Oh, sweet technology, I do love it! Now, I'm off to sleep. I have a busy day planned for tomorrow. Oh yes, oh yes. My day off. Wah hoo!

Sunday, August 01, 2004

the day has finally arrived

actually, the baby arrived. I am officially an aunt now! My sister just called, the baby is healthy happy and two days old. Yep, the phone lines have been down and for some reason my mom hasn't checked her phone messages recently. You would think she would have. Anyway, my niece, Elisabeth Imagine was born July 30th. This is so weird. Talking to my sister who is in Indonesia, holding her child, my niece - I'm having a hard time with this. But I'm also overly excited!

anyway, today was a long day. I worked from 11-9 which was enjoyable, painful, profitable and a bit fun. plus, my cold is getting better, my cough subsiding. also, i got to talk to my friend Nicole, Erin and my sister of course, so i really enjoyed this day. i cannot believe how the summer has flown. i'm looking forward to school though. i really am actually. I'm ready to get back into my groove. i usually get a good groove going at school. oh, but this year - no OD'ing on caffiene and hopefully a little more discipline in the sleep habits. It's always good to set "beginning-of-the-school-year resolutions. hm...i need to think of some more, then it isn't so bad if you don't keep a few.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

ice cream in the cemetery

the day began slow and very unexciting. i worked for 4 hours on a paper(due Friday) and still have none of it done. i cannot choose a subject that works! argh!! but alas, the evening was quite enjoyable. i handed out free water on the street corners with people from my church. it is really a fun ministry and has been quite effective in the past. afterwards, i found myself whisked away to a highschool party at my friend Luke's house. it was quite fun. dull, but enjoyable nonetheless. most of them were playing Halo, except the girl i hang out with and a couple of the guys i enjoy being with too. we had a blast eating Pringles, watching the end of Smallville and talking to Luke's mom. they have resurrected the phrase "your mom" and i must admit use it quite humorously. they really are fun to be around. i have had many comments made lately about my hanging out with highschoolers, but i really don't care. i love them and truly enjoy their company. finally, i made the suggestion that we go find ice cream, so 6 of us piled into Luke's Lincoln town car which is "a hoss of a car" (as Nicole Z. would say). =) we proceeded to Hen House, which was closing, hurriedly chose a carton of ice cream, swiped 6 spoons from the free samples area and discussed a place of enjoyment. the cemetery it was. Luke lives across from the cemetery, so...there we went. i'm pretty sure it is against the law to be out there that late, but we didn't think of that right away. it was a blast. i should not have eaten as much ice cream as i consumed, oh well. Chocolate chip cookie dough, baby! anyway, i'm now here, sitting at my computer, wondering how in the world i'm going to get my paper done tomorrow morning. i have a lunch date with my friend Nicole for her birthday and then i work from 5-11. i love working second shift!
   my sister still hasn't had her baby. the doctor thinks he dated it wrong.
   i got a letter from Emily today! i love mail! oh, and an e-mail from Evie! it was such an exciting day. yay for feeling better.
i really should go to bed.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

darling Nyquil and the fragrance of school supplies, how lovely!

I have checked my e-mail a bajillion times today. I'm not sure why I am so obsessed with checking my e-mail. There is rarely anything there, but maybe if I check it just one more time, something will be there. I'm really not that lonely or bored, I'm just selective in the things I want to do. Selective to the point of nothing. Well, I guess I did do a few things today, once I actually got up. I registered to vote. I turned in all 21 rolls of film to be developed(that's going to finish off my bank account) and I have been reading most of the rest of the day. I do love to read. Other than those things, I have slept, a lot. My parents are worried that I might have mono. I disagree, but wouldn't that just be great. (extreme sarcasm) I do seem to have the quality of life that it requires to take affect. I'm thinking it is just a nasty summer cold- you know, the ones that make you cold in the middle of summer and suffer you minimal amounts of hearing and breathing through the nose. Thus, I have taken the Nyquil again and am allowing it to take affect before I fall asleep once again. I really don't mind sleeping all the time. It's kind of relaxing. (yeah, that was a bit of a joke)
   I have been trying to figure out what it means "to overcome." I would love some feedback on this if anyone wishes to join in the ponderings. This could be thought of in one-time situational sense or in lifetime-til-death sense. These thoughts were actually aroused by the verses in Revelation 2 & 3 where to every church is given a final word about something they will receive if they overcome. Interesting.
   Off to bed I go. I do miss everyone dearly. Maybe tomorrow I'll go shopping for school supplies. Mmmm! I love that smell.

Monday, July 26, 2004

summer colds are not cool

sleep, sleep, sleep. that's all i do is sleep. i'm so tired of sleeping. it makes me feel so useless. ok, yeah, so i worked from 11-4 today but then what did i do? ten minutes after i got home i was out on the couch. i must admit though, i feel awful. i'm pretty sure i have a wonderful summer cold. caught from my friend Luke last week at camp. he had an awful cough that i felt compassionate about, now look at me. my throat, my nose, bleh!
   anyway, it was nice to have money coming in instead of me spending it. work, such a painful necessity. i look forward to being back at school and actually working in graphic design. ah school. i can smell it already. mmm.. "O Brother, Where Art Thou!" is on. i guess i'll colapse now to sleep some of this cold off.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Hello, my name is Caryn and I'm a Mountain Dew addict

i'm finally home for a bit. i cannot believe there are only 3 weeks left til school. this summer has flown. last week at camp was wonderful. i'm so glad i went even though i was exhausted for the first day. i absolutely loved the girls in my room. i had 7 and they were all precious! it was a superhero theme and i got to wear a cape all week! it was the perfect place for me. i also got to spend time with some friends from highschool who were also counselors.
this week was so good for me. i think it really helped me transition from Ireland to the States. i'm having an awful time processing Ireland. last night i had dinner with my folks and my cousins and my aunt asked me to give one major thing i learned from Ireland. i went completely blank. my mind refuses to summarize or fold anything together that i know i learned and am still learning. she made a huge deal about my hair and how mature i look. it really kind of freaked me out. reminded me of something Dani and i talked of in Ireland. actually though, i feel different since Ireland. this is the first time that i feel a change in myself and it doesn't seem to matter who i am with. it is still there, whether or not the people around me seem to notice or treat me that way. i haven't the slightest clue what it means or what i'm supposed to do with it yet. it is tough to explain and i don't think it should be blamed all on silly girl emotions. i do hate those so much. so now i'm not making much sense and just rambling. well, i'm watching the Great Gatsby and i should finish up some stuff on-line like registering to vote. too much thinking. i need a mountain dew.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

jet lag

So, I'm back in the States. I think I'm experiencing culture shock actually. I tried so hard to throw myself into Irish culture and be apart of it for 5 and a half weeks that now, I'm having a hard time coming back. I got really freaked out when I got in the car with my mom from JBU and she was driving on the right side of the road! I do miss things there already. I traveled for about 27 hours before I hit my bed last night. Already talked to my sister for an hour this morning and am just trying to relax before I leave for my church's kid's camp tomorrow. Nothing like keeping busy!
  Ireland was incredible. I'm not even going to try to comment on all right now. Too much to handle on a confused and jet lagged mind. For now, I'm going to begin unpacking so that I can pack for tomorrow and also try to finish up some homework for my Ireland courses. Yay fun! Just wanted so say hello and hope to hear from you all soon!

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

and she's off like a dirty sock

I'm leaving for Ireland in 20 minutes. Well, technically, I'm leaving for Siloam then Ireland. Be back in late July. Have a blast everyone and Erin, have fun in Orlando! Love to all!

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

dum da dum dum


all right, well, here is my new hair. this is an interesting collage of me having a little too much fun with my new hair cut and my mom's digital camera. Enjoy!

the weekend in a nutshell


Here are some amazing pictures from the wedding this weekend. Ok, so not so amazing, but sweet nonetheless. It was a fun weekend and a beautiful wedding. I must admit I'm not so into the salon thing especially when it takes 3 hours to get hair and nails done. Anyone surprised that this wasn't my favorite thing? Anyway, enjoy the pics! More to come when I can get them developed...after Ireland.

Monday, June 07, 2004


"How real is history? Is it just an enormous soup, so full of disparate ingredients that it is uncharacterizable?"
Thomas Cahill

pictures tomorrow hopefully
haircut too
oh yes


well, i'm back. and i have nothing, absolutely nothing of interest to say at the moment cuz i don't seem to be functioning in a normal manner, so i will write more later.

Friday, June 04, 2004

on the road again

it's starting to get really lonely in the world of blog. everyone is starting to drift. matt is chilling in Italy...(I really am happy for him, yes, yes I am)...brian has gone who knows where, david is leaving soon dani, nicole and me will be in ireland in a week...and until then...
well, tomorrow i leave for good old fort smith, arkansas. david, i think we are going to just miss each other. i'll make sure to wave to cars passing me. Sarah's wedding is Saturday night and the days are packed with festivities til and after the wedding. i finally finished her present and most of my reading for Ireland, and my paper too! woo hoo! hooray for productiveness. (the excitment those words should be accompanied by didn't actually make it anywhere but the computer. I think i'm a little down or something tonight, weddings seem to have that affect on my though.=)
so, i leave around 9, driving 6-7 hours, who knows how long it will take, and then prepare for the rehearsel and dinner and whatever else is in store. i'm somewhat excited. i know i will be once the driving is over.
so, i'm going to pack a little now. i really shouldn't put this off til the night before especially late on the night before. oh well. i'm not stressed. i have the shoes i need for the wedding and that's what i have dreamt about forgetting for the past 4 nights. crazy dreams too. always in a different place and i have to find some kind of footwear to take their place. why can't i just go barefoot i wonder?
well, goodnight. i'll be back sometime sunday. sweet dreams.

Sunday, May 30, 2004

I'm really not a fan of this weather

I have a day off tomorrow! I'm so looking forward to it and everything I have to get done in it.
the night is coming to a close. I'm ready to sleep. I have given in to my obsession of making lists and thus have put together a summer reading list. I do this every year. And I always get them done, but I have tried to fight my consistent list-making. Alas, I fail. So, I dive into reading. I do love it so.

Friday, May 28, 2004

my feet won't stop whining

well, well, I am doing much better than my last post. I'm so tired though. I have worked every night this week, 2 night of overtime and I work 7 hours tonight and 10-11 hours tomorrow. My body can't take much more of this.
Yesterday was a pretty good day despite the fact that I had to go to the doctor again. All should be well now. I have this fun little heart monitor thing for a few weeks. I also went shopping at Wal-mart, first time since I've been back. That's a record for me. I got a bunch of stuff that I need to make Ireland go a little easier in the packing area. I found an amazingly cool backpack which I am really excited about. I decided mine is too retarded to take with me. It always has problems. I also found a really cool waterproof watch that I need for the trip. Sad day that I can't take my red one.
Work last night was pretty good too. We were so busy. I made about $70 in tips and had some interesting conversations with some fellow workers. There is a mormom girl that just started working and she is so sweet. She has been training under me so many a conversation has been sparked. I love new opportunities. One of my regulars has been coming in when I'm there and we have talked quite a bit as well. Good thing he comes in slow times. He is such a funny elderly man, quite confused on spiritual issues though.
I'm off for now. I have so much to do and I think I'm going to treat myself to a trip to Borders. Lunch now with my father since I haven't seen him for 2 days because of work. Only 15 days til Ireland!

Thursday, May 27, 2004

if I could only think of the right word...

this day was awful. plain and simple and atrociously awful. I will spare the details mostly because I am afraid of the anger and bitterness and rage that might burst forth in ugly ways if I tried to voice the events. so, i'm off to sleep, way too late, and needing to get up much too early. the only way this day could end well is if I could see a chicken dancing in a pink polka dot skirt. yeah, that would make all things much better. goodnight.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

tornadoes, reflection, and whatever else comes to mind

I sit here thinking and reflecting as tornadoes are swirling around my city. I was kicked out of work tonight about an hour early because of the weather. My wonderful manager kept checking the weather and said he wanted me home before the worst hit. It was kind of nice to be able to relax once I got in the "safety" of my home. Now I will sit, breathing and allow my mind to wander. The flashlight is next to me just in case. I probably shouldn't be on my computer either, but oh well.
More on this weekend, it was quite fun. I had a blast with my kids' choir and even enjoyed the last bridesmaid fitting before the wedding. The drive to Tulsa is always a pain, especially when alone, but at least the weather was clear and calm.
My new cell phone works incredibly well in Siloam so that was exciting news. I was able to talk with a couple of people easily and without fear of my phone suddenly dying. It was wonderful!
Saturday night, I hung out with Sarah who lives in Bentonville and we had a blast, despite the fact that neither of us can make decisions without much difficulty. We wandered Hastings and Target, ate at Fazolli's and spent about an hour trying to find a movie to rent and then didn't watch it. Yes, Erin, an hour at Blockbuster. I'm sure you remember what that is like!
The weekend was great and I even got sunburned! Unfortunately, it is only on my left arm and the side my neck. Driving with the window open and having the sun stream in leaves very strange tan lines. But, I found an oldies station that played the whole way home!
Now, I'm home, working every night this week and still trying to get my stuff organized so I can pack for Ireland. Sigh. Somehow I just got very blah feeling. Well, I'm off before my computer dies. Maybe I'll watch the weather channel, or not. Probably not a good idea. Nonetheless, ciao. I miss you all terribly.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Kansas City once again

so I'm back. It was a fairly good trip except for the incredible amounts of driving required and the stupid gas prices. I can't imagine what those with gas over $2 are going through. Anyway, all in all, there isn't much to tell that anyone would be excited to hear. I missed people though. Siloam is very lonely when school is out. I'm glad I don't live there year round. I bought 3 cds at Hastings and that is definitely one of the highlights of my trip. Actually, I do have some funny stories, but they will have to wait. I got up at 1 and now am incredibly far behind from what I should have been doing before I work tonight. so, that's it for now.

Friday, May 21, 2004

on the road

so, i'm going to be in Siloam for this weekend and i'm leaving in about 5 minutes. therefore, i won't be on here til at least Sunday and i think i'm going to be incredibly depressed to be there and none of you are. anyway, happy weekend everyone!

the world inside my head

at work tonight, I had the incredible urge to dump a pot of coffee on myself just to see what sensation the scalding liquid would bring. It was a wonderful night actually. I wonder what causes those bizarre and possibly painful urges...

Thursday, May 20, 2004

a thought from Pride and Prejudice

I have courted prepossession and ignorance and driven reason away where either were concerned. Till this moment, I never knew myself.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

the teddy bear is upside down

I woke up to this day feeling very out of it and I haven't shaken the feeling yet. I have now taken enough medication to hopefully knock any hint of a migraine from the picture. I'm working tonight, so let's hope it's successful. Days like today, thinking hurts, but it seems to be all that I do. I keep wandering the house trying to decide what I should do that would count as productive.
I caught the end of a movie on TV that showed some of the corruption of our social care system. Made me think of Erin Anderson and the many conversations we have had about foster care and such. That would be a job I would love to do just to try to make it better, but after watching so many kids come in and out of my house because of it, I don't think I would last long without becoming extremely angry and unsuccessful in my attempts.
Heard yesterday about same sex marriage becoming legal in another state or something like that.
Election stuff is really making me want to hurl.
Also, had to endure listening to someone talk about how all Christians should pull their kids from the "corrupt public school system" and how that would solve a lot of family problems and education problems too. I walked away swallowing all comments of what a bunch of bull that is.
So all this to say, I've been pondering the state of our country and holding myself back from throwing something at the next "Christian" who blames everything they can think of except themselves. And now I'm off to get lost in some fictional book so as to escape the reality which sickens me and isn't helping my head any.

Monday, May 17, 2004


I sit here pondering the idea of being productive. Brian says he has been extremely productive and I would have to agree. I have also had an exceedingly productive day. I woke up late, but then went for a run around my neighborhood, cleaned my entire room of old stuff and am now fitting in all the stuff I care about from my room at school. Productive, yes. But, I really should start that paper that I have to write before leaving for Ireland. So, I wonder, is it really being productive to have gotten all this done, when something of greater priority still sits and gains dust? Procrastination or productiveness? This is the question I lay on the table.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

one down

The night is young. I have never understood this expression. I know what it is supposed to mean, but it does not fit as I think it should. It works for now I guess.
I cannot believe I have been home from school for an entire week now! That went so fast and I feel like I got absolutely nothing done. The past 2 days seemed to go slow while I was in them, but actually now they feel like they went quickly. Yesterday, my dad took me out for lunch and that was a sweet time and some good father-daughter bonding. Today was a day full of confusing time-warp feelings. I went to a bridal shower for a friend from high school. That was super weird. My friend is getting married. Then tonight, we attempted to go to a graduation open house. Attempted in that I read the invitation wrong all 3 times that I checked it and we showed up when it was over. I'm such a moron! Nonetheless I had plenty of conversation with a couple of people I used to know in high school but are now all graduating. It was nearly impossible to keep conversation. When did I get so old and out of it?
So, I finally talked to someone from my work yesterday and they were suppose to call last night with my schedule. I'm still holding the phone. I'm beginning to think that someone intercepted our phone and took the call for me. Possibly a lifeform from another planet. That would be so cool. Then maybe it would work for me through my time gone this summer, I could still go pick up the checks, and it would just be stupendous to have an alien waitressing!
I got a new cell phone today too! (Same number) Finally maybe this one will work in the hick town we live in.
I finished a book today. Started it yesterday. Good read.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

a bowl of cheerios

This day was absolutely charming. I'm not sure what made it so, but it was just overflowing with charmingness.
I was in that mood again that had me imagining what it would be like to be a model. Not the modeling part, but more the everyday living part. I don't really understand this, so don't try.
I spent most of the afternoon at the library looking for books and old movies and then had to coerce a new library card out of the librarian since mine has disappeared. Alas, my library is no where near as cool as Brian's colossal library of fun. The rest of my afternoon consisted of shopping, not very normal for me. After a couple of trips to the fitting room, I gave up in humored exhaustion, fully knowing that I would never have the guts to wear any of it in public.
I found another place that needs to be added to my "enter with caution" list. Borders. Tonight, I naively gave myself over to this marvelous plethora of worlds encased in cardboard. Bookstores and I mix all too well. After about an hour of perusing the shelves and skimming through every type of genre I deemed interesting, I finally settled into a chair for some deeper examination of my prospects for purchase. I exhibited incredible amounts of self-control and still walked out with 20 dollars worth of books(2) in my possession. I did not however have any coffee which completely shocks me considering I very seldom enter any bookstore that contains a cafe without finding myself at the counter habitually ordering some specialty coffee that I shouldn't be indulging. Nevertheless, the encounter with Borders was a pleasant one. I found a new haven.
My books are now calling for my attention. I wish everyone a marvelous and charming evening.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

productiveness is surging through my veins

Well, I got up this morning and actually got stuff done. This is exciting. My room is a lot more livable and I created two huge bags of junk that can unceremoniously be given to Goodwill. Ah! the exhilarating feeling of accomplishing something. Now, I sit to ponder the human brain, particularly mine.
I find it quite odd that while listening to music I still seem to be able to sing whatever song enters my mind. It reminds me of the lunchtime sandwich on the oldies radio station. Most often, the song I end up singing has absolutely nothing in common with whatever song is playing. I wonder if this is a hidden talent of mine.
This day is gloomy. I'm off to find a way to amuse myself.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

I'm going nuts

the day is coming to a close. my parents are relaxing. my sister is halfway around the world boarding a bus to move into a village. and here i sit, recording the parts i think are memorable of my humdrum life. i should be laughing at this pathetic life i lead. but i'm not. i'm not sure what i think.
my day was actually amazingly fun. i hung out with brian and mark again today and it was quite enjoyable. we wandered through a very bizarre art museum and visited the plaza for a bit. i got to test out a massage chair at sharper image. those things are amazing! i'm so thankful to have some people around right now. i think i'm going to lose it soon if i have to stay at home much longer. i don't understand this growing up thing. it feels easy to deal with until i get home and battle my parents. i could use some prayer about my attitude if anyone thinks of it.
so, been back a couple of days, my room is still a mess and i haven't called my work yet. can anyone say bum? so, i'm off to do something productive for the next couple of hours. never too late to start.

Monday, May 10, 2004

a day full of monkeys

well, this was an interesting day full of those many exciting things that make life even more livable. Mark and Brian were my companions for the day. We had a jolly time visiting amazing vintage stores, digging through old records, snapping memories with our friend the monkey, and watching a great movie "the Red Shoe." Pictures from the day are on Brian's whatever you want to call it since I'm not allowed to say the other term. Such a fun day.
Ok, I miss everyone. Time to go back.

Sunday, May 09, 2004


Fear. There are a lot of things that make people fearful. I discovered a list of phobia names today. Ailurophobia, the fear of cats. Altophobia, the fear of heights. Clinophobia, the fear of going to bed. Pteronophobia, the fear of being tickled by feathers. It was quite an extensive list and I realized that if I'm not careful, I could very easily become fearful of getting any of these phobias which would then lead to polyphobia, the fear of a lot of things. I already think I qualify for some, like coulrophobia, the fear of clowns and kakorrhaphiophobia, the fear of failure or defeat. Keraunophobia, the fear of thunder and lightning and quite possibly genophobia, nevermind about that one. So, I'm not sure where all this phobia talk came from, but my pastor was talking about worrying today and maybe that sparked this curiousity about phobias. Anyway, I wonder if there is a phobia of killing animals...
I hit a robin today, while driving. It was quite saddening I must say. The bird just didn't take flight fast enough and my front bumper clipped him. He probably would have been fine except he bounced off my windshield as well. I'm sure that finished him off.
So, I've started a blog. Yes, we'll see how long this lasts.
Oh, one more fear that needs a name ending in phobia...the fear of puppet shows. Well, not all puppet shows, but in honor of wonderful mother's day today, my sweet little cousin decided to put on a puppet show that lasted 45 minutes. (I fell asleep during most of it, until I got kicked in the head by my 3 year old cousin.) Definitely a new fear of mine. So no more puppets for me.