Sunday, August 29, 2004


I've realized this summer and now through this first week of school how overwhelmingly excited I get when I think about my career choice and learning about how to do it well. I was flipping through a booklet advertising something and it was done so well that I got really excited and even started to shake. Even reading my marketing homework and gleaning business stragies from it made me very thrilled to be studying and striving towards this graphic design goal. These are good times when my confidence is overridden by my excitement. It is such an amazing feeling to be chasing a dream. Wow, that sounded really cheesy, but I really meant it.

word of the day that I actually used (correctly) without even thinking about it: precarious
oh yes, I was excited about this usage.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

swirling and swooshing, circling and mixing

I have many emotions surging through me. I seem to be a rollercoaster of up and down, but actually, I'm just a mixture. They are all happening at once and I feel like I'm spinning waiting to see which I land on next and how I'm going to handle it. I've been feeling lonely, which is absolutely and totally absurd and ridiculous. I'm at school, with...everyone. So many faces, so much to take in. I loved orientation and had a wonderful first day. So, how can I feel lonely? Why am I still fearful of this semester? It just doesn't make sense.
please tell me it's not just because I'm a girl. I think I'll scream if so.

I go to sleep now. It always looks different in the morning. Goodnight dear void.

Friday, August 13, 2004


I sit here excitedly awaiting the Olympic's opening ceremony and comtemplating the past couple of days. I think I will make this short and just leave some thought and questions.
Situation: I'm at work with coworkers that I have grown very fond of, despite our disagreements of values and morals. As I leave, one who is working later than I, sweetly asks me to do a quick favor for her and run across the street to buy a pack of cigarettes. What do I do?

And, a simple question. Is it possible for guys and girls to just be friends? Ok, maybe a little more to this one - Christian to Christian, non-Christian to non-Christian, & most curious to me: Christian to non-Christian. Is friendship possible?

Feedback is desired.
Maybe some more background to this later, but for now, I'm watching the Olympics. Ciao!

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

5 days and counting....or 4 days

I always have a hard time with countdowns. I'm never sure when I should start counting or what. I'm ready to go back to school. I love this time of year, especially with this weather. It is beautiful. High 60's - low 70's. Wal-Mart and every other chain store aisles are packed with Back-to-school stuff. I absolutely adore pens and paper and markers. It gets me so excited. I'm reminded of a quote: "Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address." Bet nobody can guess what that is from. Mmmm....a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils. I don't know if that would excite me much. Pens on the otherhand - that's a different story.
Well, I just got back from the shot clinic where I received 2 wonderful shots. These were necessary in order for me to go see my sister and the baby and my bro-in-law at Christmas. In half an hour, I will go to work. I'm tired of working. I worked so much this weekend. 6 hours here, 7 there, and 12 on Saturday. Yep, 12 hours. Did anyone else cringe at that thought. I worked 7 hours last night which was absolutely awful. Coupons just came out. People are so excited when coupons come out and they ransack the place. It was nuts and I nearly lost it. I don't like it when I almost lose it. But, on the other hand, I made a $100 in tips. That somewhat makes the night worthwhile. Not completely though. I am very much looking forward to being back at school. I dreamt something really weird last night though about North Hall and all its mysteries.
Off to get ready for work I go. Actually, I'm going to find a Mountain Dew. Yes, a Mountain Dew at 10 in the morning. Have a lovely day!

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

the brilliance of technology


I am very fond of this kid already.

Today was actually quite wonderful. I slept in since I worked til 1:30 last night, then I finished a book, Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis(really good by the way), and then I went for a 20 minute run in the wonderful Kansas City heat. It was quite energizing, somewhat. I also shopped a tad at Target and find, oh yes, red shoes. I am thrilled about this and actually am wearing them while I write(of this girlness, I am ashamed). Then I had a quick cup of coffee with a friend while we chatted and caught up on each other's lives and I rushed after that off to work. Work, was work. We had a lot of people come in at the beginning and then a party of 35 (oh joy) and and finally we had nothing for a long time. I made less than normal tonight, but I loved this night. Luke and Neal(highschool friends) and a couple of their girl friends came in to see me - that made my night. Also, I got to have break with one of my bosses, Jason, whom I absolutely adore and that was quite wonderful in that we talked a lot and(I hope) that maybe something continues to show through about me. He is a wonderful guy and cares much for his employees. A dear, sweet man. I then came home to my sweet folks and found 5 e-mails from my brother-in-law with darling pictures of my darling niece, and also a 30 second video of her. So precious. She is, by far, the most adorable newborn I have ever seen. I wonder if it is because I am partial to her...but I didn't expect to think she was cute as a newborn. I usually find them quite unattractive within the first couple of weeks. Anyway, I cherish these pictures. Oh, sweet technology, I do love it! Now, I'm off to sleep. I have a busy day planned for tomorrow. Oh yes, oh yes. My day off. Wah hoo!

Sunday, August 01, 2004

the day has finally arrived

actually, the baby arrived. I am officially an aunt now! My sister just called, the baby is healthy happy and two days old. Yep, the phone lines have been down and for some reason my mom hasn't checked her phone messages recently. You would think she would have. Anyway, my niece, Elisabeth Imagine was born July 30th. This is so weird. Talking to my sister who is in Indonesia, holding her child, my niece - I'm having a hard time with this. But I'm also overly excited!

anyway, today was a long day. I worked from 11-9 which was enjoyable, painful, profitable and a bit fun. plus, my cold is getting better, my cough subsiding. also, i got to talk to my friend Nicole, Erin and my sister of course, so i really enjoyed this day. i cannot believe how the summer has flown. i'm looking forward to school though. i really am actually. I'm ready to get back into my groove. i usually get a good groove going at school. oh, but this year - no OD'ing on caffiene and hopefully a little more discipline in the sleep habits. It's always good to set "beginning-of-the-school-year resolutions. hm...i need to think of some more, then it isn't so bad if you don't keep a few.