Friday, October 26, 2018

farm painting for school raffle

Something a little different than my usual illustration posts. I created a painting of a special farm associated with my daughters' school. I am making prints to give to those who helped fund our raffle. Here's some process photos. I always take process photos as I fear I will ruin it somewhere along the way and I like to save as I go. I'm quite thrilled with how it turned out though.

And now for some venting and stream of conscious thoughts. Bear with me, or move on until my next post comes. 

Projects like these, I'm very frustrated. I feel grateful to see that I can still paint beautifully and am mostly happy with the final (never completely satisfied – the plight of an artist apparently). But I also feel frustrated that I cannot do the illustration styles that I want. My realistic paintings always turn out better and that exasperates me so much! I am not a brilliant illustrator yet and I hate to admit, maybe never. In art school, I was always told I had such potential. It was always meant as an encouragement, but it always frustrated me as I felt like I would never reach that "potential." I applied myself so hard to my work and yet it always just had "potential." I know I need to do more work now. More work means more chances of creating great things. Practice makes perfect right. My output is very low as I stare at blank pages and flounder without deadlines. But I also have to continue to give myself grace for the stage of life I am in. Having just sent both girls to school this fall, my time should be increasing to create finally. It hasn't yet. Still working on carving it out. 

I got to hear Oliver Jeffers be interviewed the other night at Rizzoli Bookstore. It was lovely (even though I've been horridly sick all week and spent the time there trying to covertly cough into my scarf). I forget often that I need to be inspired by others. So often I feel like, what's the point? Why do I go to events? Why do I continue to pursue something that just seems to stay farther and farther out of reach? I hate being an "aspiring illustrator" and not a "functioning one" (Oliver Jeffers freudian slip to a question asker. Ha! He called himself on it, but everyone had a good, uncomfortable laugh.) I see so many people putting work out that they are proud of and I see it as terrible. The independent publishers are making it more possible for terrible artists to get published and continue to flood that market giving them odd confidence in mediocre work. I dread being in that position and fear I already have been. I know it shouldn't completely matter what the market says, but it also should. Art is not entirely subjective. There is good art and bad art. 

I don't see an end to this post and these frustrations as it continues to be part of my journey. Perhaps my muddled sick head shouldn't be allowed to post my thoughts publicly. Perhaps I should delete this later, but I also want to do better at creating content rather than just consuming, and today felt like a good time to do just that as I sit and drink tea and nurse my aching body. This is honesty as an artist. I don't know who reads this blog anymore, but I want to continue to use it as a place for my art and my artist heart. Thanks for listening.

Saturday, October 13, 2018

new brush pen doodles

Got a lovely new brush pen. Trying to play around with it. Loosen up. Doodles heavily inspired by favorite mid-century art.

Inktober 13: Guarded

Friday, October 12, 2018

Inktober 12: Whale

Totally losing steam on this Inktober. So taking it easy this Friday evening and going to bed early. Show up, draw something, and sign it. Taking my own advice.

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Inktober 11: Cruel

Super rough tonight. So tired. But I made something. Showing up and creating something is the discipline I’m striving for this month. Trying to put perfectionism aside.

Sunday, October 07, 2018

Inktober 7: Exhausted

Had to create 3 parts to this. A little rough in execution, but I kind of love them anyway. And I love using the prompt to guide my story.

Friday, October 05, 2018

Inktober 5: Chicken

Learn the chicken dance with Monkey in 4 easy steps!

Tuesday, October 02, 2018

Inktober 2: Tranquil

The dreaded curse of a finished product that you felt really excited about and then ruined. I loved the sketch. I liked the linework even more. I got really excited about actually painting it and then, disaster. I don’t know what this paper is, but it hates water. Too much water, too little water... equally terrible results. I’ve cleaned it up as much as I can with pencil and I will now be thankful I snapped a pic of my nice little sketch and move on to tomorrow’s. You win some, you lose some. “Tranquil”

Monday, October 01, 2018

Inktober 1: Poison

Meet Pandy & Monkey. I’ve been trying to decide what I wanted to do this year for Inktober, and at the same time, I’ve been wanting to experiment with new characters. While we were traveling this summer, my husband started telling our girls stories starring their favorite stuffed friends which accompanied our travels. Inspired by these stuffies, I plan to use Inktober to play with these characters and see what happens. I wasn’t planning to use the official prompt list, but I felt stumped today and this idea formed around the first day prompt: “Poisonous.” It’s a start. I hope these two have fun, and I especially hope they evolve and get tighter. Follow along if you like.

Inktober 2018!

And we're off!

Saturday, May 05, 2018

Spring in Central Park

I should probably subtitle this: "Enjoying Spring before the allergies bloomed."

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

partying zebra

prompts: zebra + polka dots

ballerina bunny

Lavender the bunny loves ballet too.

Friday, March 30, 2018

Monday, January 08, 2018

Lady with Flying Dog sketch

Inspired by real life. New Yorkers are always in a hurry.

Monday, January 01, 2018

Bellman sketch

inspired from real life