Thursday, September 08, 2005

sometimes I just don't feel good.

I woke up at 6 this morning blowing my nose repeatedly. At 6:30 I decided to take action. Medicine certainly is a blessing. When my alarm actually went off at 8, my body refused to move for the medicine had taken over. Allergies. I don't understand them, I don't want them, and it makes me sad to suffer through some pretty seasons. I wish I could smile when I see someone mowing their lawn, or watch the flowers in bloom and the dew on the grass. No, I cannot smile at it for my body grimaces in the knowledge that my nose will only run more. Some people find allergy ridden people cute. Imagine that, being cute because your nose is slightly red and you sniffle every so often. I'm glad it is amusing to some.

Senior. This word is mysterious to me. Not the Spanish term for Mr. but the word that means I've been through way too many years of education and I'm supposed to be one of the most knowledgeable people on campus with the least amount of time or desire to spend with large amounts of unknown people. The last is definitely true. I find freshmen cute and immature, but having to spend large quantities of time with anyone, except those I've been bonding with for a while, just exhausts me. I feel a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. The knowledge of future plans needing to be made continues to sink in and threatens to suffocate me. I would much rather fly by the seat of my pants except for the gnawing feeling in my stomach that says it would be much more relaxed if I would make a few plans.

Life is good. I have great friends, somewhat healthy living habits and for the first time in my college career, I've actually learned how to get my homework done before midnight the day before. Amazing.

I really want a nap.

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