9 hours

my flight leaves at 7pm. my suitcase is almost packed and I think I will succeed in only taking one. I'm excited but so aprehensive. Yesterday was an awful day of preparation and much tears as I passed the stressed zone and hit the panic zone. It will all be much easier once I get on the plane.

packing to be finished, short Wal-Mart run is a must...

have a great summer everyone and write me!

4 days and counting

well, on Tuesday, my adventure to Spain will begin. I have done about half of my incredibly long to do list and am still chipping away at the rest of it. I spent an enormous amount of time cleaning and reorganizing my room, which although it was tough, certainly will help the packing mode since I now know where everything is. I've also spent a large chunk of yesterday shopping. It was not a fun experience as it never seems to be for me, but I did have success and will hopefully be well-dressed and not overheat in my new found tops.

This week has been jam-packed with all kinds of adventures. Sometime last week, my grandmother died, so my folks and I had to jet(as in drive 2 16 hours days from San Francisco to here) back to KC and now my folks are in New York til Sunday night for the funeral. Although it is sad and weird timing, I find it a bit of a gift from God, since I get stressed with people around asking how they can help. By the time they get back, hopefully I'll have my act together.

Thursday I was able to spend all day with my high-school closest friend and that was amazing. She is leaving for her 6 month missions internship and thus our goodbye this time was a lot harder. Thankfully, she is the kind of friend, that we never seem to feel or notice the distance when we get to talk again.

Now, I should start my day. I took a dose of NyQuil last night to try and get rid of this awful cough I've somehow earned and thus I did not awake until noon. My to do list for today will not wait much longer however, so off I go. Missing you all like crazy and praying for the many adventures that will and are occurring in the long summer(and for some through the fall as well).

the long and winding road

so, i'm not doing so well at this posting thing, nor have I been able to keep up with other people's posts. I will be back to normal internet use hopefully in a few days. For now, I am in San Francisco - the end to a very long family trip. Monday morning, my folks and I are heading back to KC, leaving my sister, bro-in-law and niece, Maggie here to fly back to Southeast Asia on Thursday.

On this trip, I have been to Winnipeg, Canada; North Dakota; South Dakota; Idaho; Nevada; and now San Francisco (plus all the states we drove through on the journey). This has been incredibly long. I have loved the time with my sister, bro-in-law and especially little Maggie; but things have been tough with my folks. Tight space in a minivan is interesting travel especially with the added bonus of cute little Maggie who is almost 10 months and does not like long trips in a carseat. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to being back home, packing once again and heading off to Spain in a little over a week.

I thought I had a lot more to say, but I'm starting to feel bushed and ready to go to bed. I'm going to go in search of a bed and hopefully get some much needed sleep. I promise, I will once again be catching up on livejournals, xangas, and blogs in just a few days.

packing, planning and goodbyeing

Today is my last day of finals. This has by far been the easiest finals week ever for me. No all-nighters, not even close.

All my things are once again being packed in boxes, ready to disappear for the summer. I always tend to think I'm going to throw a lot of things away, not bring as much to school next year and be much less materialistic. But, then as I go along, my sentimental ridiculousness attaches itself to particular pieces of paper and what-not and I fight the internal battle of figuring out how important certain things really are. The close proximity of home gives me too much ability to compile unnecessary items throughout the year.

I have come to the conclusion once again that I have way too many clothes.

26 days until I board the first of many airplanes and embark on a summer adventure. I could pessimistically predict many language miscommunications, design difficulties, and a bit of loneliness; but I remain positive and immensely excited. Perhaps I shall have a cubicle.

In 2 days I will be driving home, having said some difficult goodbyes. Then, at my house, I will tackle my sister and bro-in-law and deliciously hug my beautiful 8 month old niece. My bed, my room, my church…it has been a long time.

For now, I sit in my second to the last final, relishing the idea of tearing my room apart and watching a movie tonight with Erin. Life is pleasant these days.

another blonde moment

so, I got back from church today and like usual, parked in Walker parking to go to lunch. After a stimulating discussion and much enjoyable friends, I strolled back to North and started the homework. Fairly soon after that, I needed to take some matte board to the art building to be cut, so I hopped into the elevator and went out with my key in hand to my car...well, then I stood in North parking lot for several minutes scanning the cars and trying not to panic that mine wasn't amongst them. When the realization of what I had done hit me, I laughingly strolled up the hill to my car and proceeded on to the art building. I so often lose my car, you wouldn't think was possible.

Excitement:

I've realized this summer and now through this first week of school how overwhelmingly excited I get when I think about my career choice and learning about how to do it well. I was flipping through a booklet advertising something and it was done so well that I got really excited and even started to shake. Even reading my marketing homework and gleaning business stragies from it made me very thrilled to be studying and striving towards this graphic design goal. These are good times when my confidence is overridden by my excitement. It is such an amazing feeling to be chasing a dream. Wow, that sounded really cheesy, but I really meant it.


word of the day that I actually used (correctly) without even thinking about it: precarious
oh yes, I was excited about this usage.

swirling and swooshing, circling and mixing

I have many emotions surging through me. I seem to be a rollercoaster of up and down, but actually, I'm just a mixture. They are all happening at once and I feel like I'm spinning waiting to see which I land on next and how I'm going to handle it. I've been feeling lonely, which is absolutely and totally absurd and ridiculous. I'm at school, with...everyone. So many faces, so much to take in. I loved orientation and had a wonderful first day. So, how can I feel lonely? Why am I still fearful of this semester? It just doesn't make sense.
please tell me it's not just because I'm a girl. I think I'll scream if so.

I go to sleep now. It always looks different in the morning. Goodnight dear void.

Perspective

I sit here excitedly awaiting the Olympic's opening ceremony and comtemplating the past couple of days. I think I will make this short and just leave some thought and questions.
Situation: I'm at work with coworkers that I have grown very fond of, despite our disagreements of values and morals. As I leave, one who is working later than I, sweetly asks me to do a quick favor for her and run across the street to buy a pack of cigarettes. What do I do?

And, a simple question. Is it possible for guys and girls to just be friends? Ok, maybe a little more to this one - Christian to Christian, non-Christian to non-Christian, & most curious to me: Christian to non-Christian. Is friendship possible?

Feedback is desired.
Maybe some more background to this later, but for now, I'm watching the Olympics. Ciao!

5 days and counting....or 4 days

I always have a hard time with countdowns. I'm never sure when I should start counting or what. I'm ready to go back to school. I love this time of year, especially with this weather. It is beautiful. High 60's - low 70's. Wal-Mart and every other chain store aisles are packed with Back-to-school stuff. I absolutely adore pens and paper and markers. It gets me so excited. I'm reminded of a quote: "Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address." Bet nobody can guess what that is from. Mmmm....a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils. I don't know if that would excite me much. Pens on the otherhand - that's a different story.
Well, I just got back from the shot clinic where I received 2 wonderful shots. These were necessary in order for me to go see my sister and the baby and my bro-in-law at Christmas. In half an hour, I will go to work. I'm tired of working. I worked so much this weekend. 6 hours here, 7 there, and 12 on Saturday. Yep, 12 hours. Did anyone else cringe at that thought. I worked 7 hours last night which was absolutely awful. Coupons just came out. People are so excited when coupons come out and they ransack the place. It was nuts and I nearly lost it. I don't like it when I almost lose it. But, on the other hand, I made a $100 in tips. That somewhat makes the night worthwhile. Not completely though. I am very much looking forward to being back at school. I dreamt something really weird last night though about North Hall and all its mysteries.
Off to get ready for work I go. Actually, I'm going to find a Mountain Dew. Yes, a Mountain Dew at 10 in the morning. Have a lovely day!

the brilliance of technology

mynieceMaggie

I am very fond of this kid already.

Today was actually quite wonderful. I slept in since I worked til 1:30 last night, then I finished a book, Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis(really good by the way), and then I went for a 20 minute run in the wonderful Kansas City heat. It was quite energizing, somewhat. I also shopped a tad at Target and find, oh yes, red shoes. I am thrilled about this and actually am wearing them while I write(of this girlness, I am ashamed). Then I had a quick cup of coffee with a friend while we chatted and caught up on each other's lives and I rushed after that off to work. Work, was work. We had a lot of people come in at the beginning and then a party of 35 (oh joy) and and finally we had nothing for a long time. I made less than normal tonight, but I loved this night. Luke and Neal(highschool friends) and a couple of their girl friends came in to see me - that made my night. Also, I got to have break with one of my bosses, Jason, whom I absolutely adore and that was quite wonderful in that we talked a lot and(I hope) that maybe something continues to show through about me. He is a wonderful guy and cares much for his employees. A dear, sweet man. I then came home to my sweet folks and found 5 e-mails from my brother-in-law with darling pictures of my darling niece, and also a 30 second video of her. So precious. She is, by far, the most adorable newborn I have ever seen. I wonder if it is because I am partial to her...but I didn't expect to think she was cute as a newborn. I usually find them quite unattractive within the first couple of weeks. Anyway, I cherish these pictures. Oh, sweet technology, I do love it! Now, I'm off to sleep. I have a busy day planned for tomorrow. Oh yes, oh yes. My day off. Wah hoo!

the day has finally arrived

actually, the baby arrived. I am officially an aunt now! My sister just called, the baby is healthy happy and two days old. Yep, the phone lines have been down and for some reason my mom hasn't checked her phone messages recently. You would think she would have. Anyway, my niece, Elisabeth Imagine was born July 30th. This is so weird. Talking to my sister who is in Indonesia, holding her child, my niece - I'm having a hard time with this. But I'm also overly excited!

anyway, today was a long day. I worked from 11-9 which was enjoyable, painful, profitable and a bit fun. plus, my cold is getting better, my cough subsiding. also, i got to talk to my friend Nicole, Erin and my sister of course, so i really enjoyed this day. i cannot believe how the summer has flown. i'm looking forward to school though. i really am actually. I'm ready to get back into my groove. i usually get a good groove going at school. oh, but this year - no OD'ing on caffiene and hopefully a little more discipline in the sleep habits. It's always good to set "beginning-of-the-school-year resolutions. hm...i need to think of some more, then it isn't so bad if you don't keep a few.

ice cream in the cemetery

the day began slow and very unexciting. i worked for 4 hours on a paper(due Friday) and still have none of it done. i cannot choose a subject that works! argh!! but alas, the evening was quite enjoyable. i handed out free water on the street corners with people from my church. it is really a fun ministry and has been quite effective in the past. afterwards, i found myself whisked away to a highschool party at my friend Luke's house. it was quite fun. dull, but enjoyable nonetheless. most of them were playing Halo, except the girl i hang out with and a couple of the guys i enjoy being with too. we had a blast eating Pringles, watching the end of Smallville and talking to Luke's mom. they have resurrected the phrase "your mom" and i must admit use it quite humorously. they really are fun to be around. i have had many comments made lately about my hanging out with highschoolers, but i really don't care. i love them and truly enjoy their company. finally, i made the suggestion that we go find ice cream, so 6 of us piled into Luke's Lincoln town car which is "a hoss of a car" (as Nicole Z. would say). =) we proceeded to Hen House, which was closing, hurriedly chose a carton of ice cream, swiped 6 spoons from the free samples area and discussed a place of enjoyment. the cemetery it was. Luke lives across from the cemetery, so...there we went. i'm pretty sure it is against the law to be out there that late, but we didn't think of that right away. it was a blast. i should not have eaten as much ice cream as i consumed, oh well. Chocolate chip cookie dough, baby! anyway, i'm now here, sitting at my computer, wondering how in the world i'm going to get my paper done tomorrow morning. i have a lunch date with my friend Nicole for her birthday and then i work from 5-11. i love working second shift!
   my sister still hasn't had her baby. the doctor thinks he dated it wrong.
   i got a letter from Emily today! i love mail! oh, and an e-mail from Evie! it was such an exciting day. yay for feeling better.
i really should go to bed.

darling Nyquil and the fragrance of school supplies, how lovely!

I have checked my e-mail a bajillion times today. I'm not sure why I am so obsessed with checking my e-mail. There is rarely anything there, but maybe if I check it just one more time, something will be there. I'm really not that lonely or bored, I'm just selective in the things I want to do. Selective to the point of nothing. Well, I guess I did do a few things today, once I actually got up. I registered to vote. I turned in all 21 rolls of film to be developed(that's going to finish off my bank account) and I have been reading most of the rest of the day. I do love to read. Other than those things, I have slept, a lot. My parents are worried that I might have mono. I disagree, but wouldn't that just be great. (extreme sarcasm) I do seem to have the quality of life that it requires to take affect. I'm thinking it is just a nasty summer cold- you know, the ones that make you cold in the middle of summer and suffer you minimal amounts of hearing and breathing through the nose. Thus, I have taken the Nyquil again and am allowing it to take affect before I fall asleep once again. I really don't mind sleeping all the time. It's kind of relaxing. (yeah, that was a bit of a joke)
   I have been trying to figure out what it means "to overcome." I would love some feedback on this if anyone wishes to join in the ponderings. This could be thought of in one-time situational sense or in lifetime-til-death sense. These thoughts were actually aroused by the verses in Revelation 2 & 3 where to every church is given a final word about something they will receive if they overcome. Interesting.
   Off to bed I go. I do miss everyone dearly. Maybe tomorrow I'll go shopping for school supplies. Mmmm! I love that smell.

summer colds are not cool

sleep, sleep, sleep. that's all i do is sleep. i'm so tired of sleeping. it makes me feel so useless. ok, yeah, so i worked from 11-4 today but then what did i do? ten minutes after i got home i was out on the couch. i must admit though, i feel awful. i'm pretty sure i have a wonderful summer cold. caught from my friend Luke last week at camp. he had an awful cough that i felt compassionate about, now look at me. my throat, my nose, bleh!
   anyway, it was nice to have money coming in instead of me spending it. work, such a painful necessity. i look forward to being back at school and actually working in graphic design. ah school. i can smell it already. mmm.. "O Brother, Where Art Thou!" is on. i guess i'll colapse now to sleep some of this cold off.

Hello, my name is Caryn and I'm a Mountain Dew addict

i'm finally home for a bit. i cannot believe there are only 3 weeks left til school. this summer has flown. last week at camp was wonderful. i'm so glad i went even though i was exhausted for the first day. i absolutely loved the girls in my room. i had 7 and they were all precious! it was a superhero theme and i got to wear a cape all week! it was the perfect place for me. i also got to spend time with some friends from highschool who were also counselors.
this week was so good for me. i think it really helped me transition from Ireland to the States. i'm having an awful time processing Ireland. last night i had dinner with my folks and my cousins and my aunt asked me to give one major thing i learned from Ireland. i went completely blank. my mind refuses to summarize or fold anything together that i know i learned and am still learning. she made a huge deal about my hair and how mature i look. it really kind of freaked me out. reminded me of something Dani and i talked of in Ireland. actually though, i feel different since Ireland. this is the first time that i feel a change in myself and it doesn't seem to matter who i am with. it is still there, whether or not the people around me seem to notice or treat me that way. i haven't the slightest clue what it means or what i'm supposed to do with it yet. it is tough to explain and i don't think it should be blamed all on silly girl emotions. i do hate those so much. so now i'm not making much sense and just rambling. well, i'm watching the Great Gatsby and i should finish up some stuff on-line like registering to vote. too much thinking. i need a mountain dew.

jet lag

So, I'm back in the States. I think I'm experiencing culture shock actually. I tried so hard to throw myself into Irish culture and be apart of it for 5 and a half weeks that now, I'm having a hard time coming back. I got really freaked out when I got in the car with my mom from JBU and she was driving on the right side of the road! I do miss things there already. I traveled for about 27 hours before I hit my bed last night. Already talked to my sister for an hour this morning and am just trying to relax before I leave for my church's kid's camp tomorrow. Nothing like keeping busy!
  Ireland was incredible. I'm not even going to try to comment on all right now. Too much to handle on a confused and jet lagged mind. For now, I'm going to begin unpacking so that I can pack for tomorrow and also try to finish up some homework for my Ireland courses. Yay fun! Just wanted so say hello and hope to hear from you all soon!

and she's off like a dirty sock

I'm leaving for Ireland in 20 minutes. Well, technically, I'm leaving for Siloam then Ireland. Be back in late July. Have a blast everyone and Erin, have fun in Orlando! Love to all!

dum da dum dum

acollage

all right, well, here is my new hair. this is an interesting collage of me having a little too much fun with my new hair cut and my mom's digital camera. Enjoy!

the weekend in a nutshell

Sarah'swedding

Here are some amazing pictures from the wedding this weekend. Ok, so not so amazing, but sweet nonetheless. It was a fun weekend and a beautiful wedding. I must admit I'm not so into the salon thing especially when it takes 3 hours to get hair and nails done. Anyone surprised that this wasn't my favorite thing? Anyway, enjoy the pics! More to come when I can get them developed...after Ireland.

ponderings

"How real is history? Is it just an enormous soup, so full of disparate ingredients that it is uncharacterizable?"
Thomas Cahill

pictures tomorrow hopefully
haircut too
excitement?
oh yes