swirling and swooshing, circling and mixing

I have many emotions surging through me. I seem to be a rollercoaster of up and down, but actually, I'm just a mixture. They are all happening at once and I feel like I'm spinning waiting to see which I land on next and how I'm going to handle it. I've been feeling lonely, which is absolutely and totally absurd and ridiculous. I'm at school, with...everyone. So many faces, so much to take in. I loved orientation and had a wonderful first day. So, how can I feel lonely? Why am I still fearful of this semester? It just doesn't make sense.
please tell me it's not just because I'm a girl. I think I'll scream if so.

I go to sleep now. It always looks different in the morning. Goodnight dear void.