only 2 letters off

Discovered this song today and really still can't believe it is real. I've already requested that Mark learn it and sing it to me on occasion. Yes, it is that awesome.

Caryn Shaffer - Wesley Willis

UPDATE: due to the sad news that lala.com has been shut down (boo iTunes), here is a clip of the song on Amazon.

"we were here"

Mark and I saw The Clogs in concert yesterday. We weren't too familiar with them before we heard about the concert. What captured our interest was that Sufjan Stevens and Shara Worden (My Brightest Diamond) were performing with them. We've seen My Brightest Diamond perform here a little over a year ago and love love love her (Mark actually did a video for her in college), but Sufjan has not been anywhere near Knoxville so we thought it was worth it to see him (even if he only played a little). We both began to listen to The Clogs new album and found it interesting. The concert however was wonderful. Their music is so much lovelier live. It's one of those concerts that there are many instruments, the music fills the auditorium and at times you are afraid it will end too quickly or not at all.

I'm actually not much of a concert person. At least not these strange "indie" concerts. I find the audience of these particular concerts to be extremely rude and distracting. There were so many people getting up and moving around, looking at their bright cell phone screens, whispering, taking pictures…. I hate how easily distractable I am. I much prefer the symphonies and jazz concerts where it feels like no one dares move for fear of missing something spectacular or breaking the mood. Symphonies always have an older audience and it is lovely. I always feel I must be very proper and have brilliant etiquette. I'm much more able to get enveloped in the music.

Overall, the concert yesterday was nice, but frustrating. The high point for me however was the last song they played. Sufjan and Shara both performed with The Clogs and it was a hauntingly beautiful song. I wanted to weep at its loveliness. It is very rare for me to feel that way about a song and I have been obsessively listening to the song all day as I process the emotions it brings. The recording on the cd isn't quite the same as the ambiance of the theater and the sound swirling around the room, but it begins to speak to the feelings. Be moved too.

We Were Here (feat. Sufjan Ste...

UPDATE: due to the sad news that lala.com has been shut down (boo iTunes), here is a clip of the song on Amazon.
or to hear the song in its entirety watch this video (which is the actual concert I was at just a few seats over from whomever uploaded this! but I suggest you close your eyes to not be distracted).
or just go buy the song. You won't be disappointed. I promise.

St. Patrick's Day

seriously… I want a dog.

via [BB-Blog]

the mountains are seeping in

We took to the road this weekend for a dear friend's wedding. We both desperately wanted to fly there, but just could not justify over $600 a piece for a shorter trip. So Thursday night, we packed the cooler full of edibles and hit the road. Dallas is a 13.5 hour drive from our dear little house in Knoxville. We stopped somewhere unimportant along the way and finished the drive on Friday. The wedding itself was good, but I don't feel there is anything exciting to relate. The memorable piece from this weekend is about the mountains. I haven't been to Texas in a while and I have to say that we were both quite shocked at how flat Dallas was. And even most of the Arkansas we traveled through too. When we were still at least a half hour away from Dallas, we could see almost every detail of the Dallas skyline. It was so odd. Saturday morning, while Mark did the groomsman thing with the groom—I took a trip over to Frisco and hit the Ikea. (Yes, we really are that pathetic that we must stop at Ikea if we are within an hour's distance.) It was lovely to drive there and back and yet I was very unsettled at how flat it all was. I haven't felt this feeling before, at least not this particular form of homesickness, but I really missed the Tennessee mountains. It was such a lovely sight as we got closer and closer on the drive back Sunday. We kept going up and down more and the view got shorter and shorter. I really did feel like an idiot a couple times as I grinned widely to see all the peaks and valleys ahead of us. If you haven't done the drive on 40 between Nashville and Knoxville, it really is quite lovely. So many trees and so much off in the distance. Truly a sight to behold. I've been slowly feeling that this little town was staking its claim on my heart for this period of time—but I knew it to be so true as I came home to the mountains. Knoxville really is a lovely little place.

before 30

I've been thinking about this list for quite a while. I like to make lists. A lot. This list is coming out of the realization of my upcoming 26th birthday in September and how that sounds really old to me. I know it isn't, but it has made me think about having more goals and attempting harder to attain them. So, here is my big list, in no particular order. Some are big things and some are small things. The before I turn 30 list. I will be updating and referring to this list hopefully a lot in the next few years. Here I go…

1. start capturing life with a Polaroid camera
2. begin a garden
3. learn French
4. visit DisneyWorld
5. start a family
6. send a children's book draft or portfolio of illustrations to a publishing house
7. rescue a dog
8. learn some front end coding
9. build a clothesline
10. sew clothes for myself
11. paint a really big canvas
12. start a family wall of pictures
13. make a new website for my portfolio
14. make a pie from scratch
15. renovate the kitchen
16. ride a ferris wheel
17. visit a photobooth

sounds like me

the projects in my head

I frequently have many project ideas floating around my head. I often scribble them down in my sketchbook, on post-its that find themselves affixed in odd locations, or in my moleskine notebook that continually rides in my purse and on various scraps of paper that may be within reach when an idea begins to surface or flesh itself out. Ideas often come at the most inconvenient times—take a couple weeks ago when I was running to a printer to pick up a project and bam! children's book idea hits me (this is the most frequent kind of idea that floats in my head—I've got 7 or 8 kids' book ideas in the works, mostly in my head). I frantically start pawing around in my purse while keeping my eyes on the road, grab a pen, find some random little envelope with a bit of gum stuck in one corner and then realize there is absolutely no way to write down my idea while driving down Kingston Pike in the middle of lunch hour traffic. So I put the free hand back on the wheel again and whisper the idea over and over again until I reach intended destination and can park. Usually at this point the idea starts to sound less exciting and ceases to excite me, but occasionally they will make it to scrap paper and then never see the light of day again. I have dreams of one day, in my retirement, pulling out a tattered scrapbook containing all my ideas and suddenly working them all out and becoming an amazing children's book writer/illustrator in my late 60's and dedicating each one to my grandchildren and my dear husband who never gave up on encouraging me to do children's books.

Well, lately I've had this type project rolling around in my head—at least for 7 months. And yesterday, during the second service sermon (which I was in because I sang in both services) I imagined another type project idea that would relate well to the first. And this morning, there came a third. So now, I'm going to attempt to embark on a type series project. My brain is still mulling out all the details of said project, but for once I decided to put it in the blogosphere and perhaps this would give me a sort of accountability to follow through and see where it leads. Soon this week I will sit down and put a description of the project and the parameters I'm mentally giving myself on here. I've said I will, so I will. Coming soon…

Alice.com

I've been wanting to discuss my love for Alice.com on here for a while. My sister discovered it a few months ago and passed the info on to me. I was a bit skeptical at first, but always take a good recommendation seriously. I use it frequently and must say that although I love the laziness of shopping online from my cozy couch, the true love for me is how easy it is to watch my budget when I shop there. I always struggle at stores to mentally add up my items and make sure I'm within what I have to spend. Alice makes it so much easier as I can add and take things away from my total with a click. I also don't have to spend time in the aisles trying to decipher all the facts about every product on the shelf. I can just make my list on Alice, read the product info and reviews, AND Alice automatically adds any coupon that exists for the product! Wonderful! I actually made an order Tuesday and am expecting to see the lovely box on my doorstep when I get home this evening. Did I mention 2-3 day delivery and free shipping? Yes, free shipping! Always! Really if you haven't tried Alice.com yet, you should check it out. Makes life a lot easier. It really is true—everyone needs an Alice!

Also, here is another reason for love of Alice: Alice.com announces free samples + win a Mac Book!

there are no words to express how much I love September…

My joy was indescribable this morning when I saw the date on the calendar and then looked outside and saw the cool crisp air just hinting that fall is almost completely here. I longingly glanced at my box of sweaters awaiting to be unpacked and my mound of tights that I'm aching to wear even though it is still too warm. And then, to top it all off, I arrive at work this morning to find a Pumpkin Spice Latte with a lovely post-it note on my desk! One of my coworkers wives has a love affair with Pumpkin Spice Lattes as well. We recently discovered this bond that we share that many do not fully understand. It's going to be a lovely month!

rethinking everything

It is often a scary thing to acquire knowledge. Over the past few months I have frequently thought back to childhood and the beautiful innocence of it. Becoming an adult changes a lot, and although I thought I would have realized that several years ago, some things are just now starting to become overwhelming. Responsibility always sounded like such a great word when I was going through the shaky teenage years, but now, I realize how much responsibility I am faced with daily. Every decision I seem to make is either me taking responsibility or not. Every decision I don't think to make is still me taking responsibility. This is what makes my head hurt. There are too many things to consider and research.

Perhaps I should start where this all did. Mark and I recently started a Netflix membership. We have quite a queue lined up and have already watched many. The past month or so, we have been on a documentary kick. This is mainly because of Mark, but also out of curiosity. As a result of these, we have been talking about a lot of issues neither of us ever seemed to be concerned or aware of. Issues such as the medical industry, cancer, antibiotics, recycling, dentistry, midwives, processed foods, organic food, toxins, chain restaurants, shots... and the list seems to be continually growing. Now, I grew up in a very conservative Christian home where I was taught wonderful, rational, and loving things, but for the most part, never was what I learned to consider an "environmental freak." This also typifies my husband's upbringing as well. Things have changed. Maybe it is the quarter-of-a-century birthdays that we are both facing this year, or the conversations about having a family and decisions we'll need to make. Whatever it is, we've both started to take a really hard look at things around us and our ideas of "normal" living and starting to get concerned and confused.

Now, I realize that documentaries are often very biased and some do not present both sides of the argument or even the whole truth about the favored side. But they have caused us to start thinking. A lot. And research has ensued. This is all great, right? Of course it is. We should be thinking for ourselves and examining what's put before us. But it is really terrifying as well. Neither of us want to become conspiracy theorists, as so many on the web like to call those who discuss a lot of the pitfalls of these issues, but at the same time when you start looking into these issues the "conspiracy" called greed becomes extremely prevalent.

So, the point of this seemingly rambling post, I'm not sure. I am not a verbal processor, contrary to the stereotype about women. I have been really struggling to process all these issues and my inability to verbalize all my thoughts to Mark has been a source of frustration to myself. So, perhaps by writing something down, things will find a way to start sorting in my head. Maybe I'll write a post on each of these issues as I research them and make decisions. Maybe that won't be necessary or desirable. I guess we'll see.

In addition here is a brief list of the movies that have caused this mess:
The Business of Being Born—about the birth industry, mother and baby safety, and the prevalence of midwives everywhere but the U.S.

Super Size Me—about fast-food chains (most specifically McDonald's), obesity, and the effects of processed food on the body

The Beautiful Truth—a not so well-done documentary but it brings up multiple issues about cancer treatment, antibiotics, dentistry and fluoride, and organic foods.

on the queue to come: Sicko, In the Womb, Maxed Out, and hopefully Food Inc.
on the bookshelf: Fast Food Nation, A Cancer Therapy

someday…

I will be illustrating a children's book and have a dog sleeping on my lap. Just like this:



[image from this grain edit article]

music to my ears…

the lovely craigslist piano. Isn't she beautiful?
(and the ivories are yellowish because they are real ivory with the wood grain look and texture which apparently is very unique)

card sentiment

Over Thanksgiving, Mark and I cleaned out the last few things from my parent's house in Kansas City. It was just a couple boxes on the shelf in my old room's closet. They were quite a treasure trove of my collected junk over the years. Among them are my rock collection, my shell collection, my McDonald's Barbie figurine toys collection, my coffee sleeve collection and random assortments of papers from elementary school to college. Apparently, I enjoy(ed) collecting things. This phase of mine has seemingly passed as now I tend to pitch things faster than anyone can blink. I usually figure that if I take too long to decipher my or Mark's feelings for something, we may keep more junk than we need. And I'm from a home that has had several generations' sentiments move in and collect in every available shelf and box. So I enjoy throwing things away more now.

With this in mind, I come to the point of my ponderous post, my largest collection that I have yet to rid myself of… greeting cards. It has recently been brought to my attention that they are an obsession for me. And I must admit it is true. Ever since I was little I have kept every card I have ever received. I have thrown out a few along the way depending on their attached sentiment or my enjoyment of the card, but that has only been a handful or two of cards over my 24 years of life. I have a lot of cards. Mark eyes them skeptically and questions what I want to do with them and I honestly don't know. I just love looking through them. When I was very little, my mom started a card scrapbook for me and I still have that and love to look through it over and over again. I would need several more books now to hold all my cards. So, what do I do with them? I have no idea, but I love my cards.

a first anniversary

It doesn't seem possible that it has been a whole year since Mark and I got married and started this crazy new life. We went away this weekend to a cabin near Sevierville. It was beautiful, not only because of the colorful trees and silly heart-shaped jacuzzi, but also to just get away and think back. Although it sounds so strange to say we have been married a year, when we stopped and talked about all the things that have happened this year it seemed like it should have been much longer. Between the move to Knoxville, the job search, the church search, learning the grown-up way to make friends and the house purchase—I get a little overwhelmed just thinking about it. It has been a crazy but wonderful year. I wouldn't have asked for anyone different to share it with. Here are a few snaps from this weekend. Although they are not the best photos, I think they are lovely.




And yesterday, our actual anniversary, while I spent 6am to 4pm decorating Pottery Barn for Christmas, I received a beautiful bouquet of daisies with a single rose from my sweet husband.


What a lovely year.

happy birthday to me!

Mark made me a delicious cake. I got some amazing presents from family including Juno and special Maryland coffee. And Mark and his parents got the lovely apple green raincoat for me. Yay for being 24!

a great Saturday

The house is wonderfully clean, the windows are open, a delicious fall candle is burning and a Billie Holiday record is playing loudly throughout the house. Who could ask for anything more?

back in the saddle again… sorta

Last week I started working 3 days a week for a studio that I've been doing freelance work for. 20 hours a week through the month of September. It's been really great to be back in an office, interacting with real people, and getting a paycheck a little more regularly. It's also been a strange switch. I'm back to a schedule now, meaning I have to actually get up in the morning, think about appropriate work clothes, pack a lunch, and attempt to be on time. I had forgotten how tiring it is to actually sit at a desk for hours straight, and my eyes are really showing the wear of it. The past several days my eyes have taken turns being incredibly bloodshot and tired. It's a great way to show up to work.

I'm really enjoying this opportunity and yet am so shocked at how quickly I can fall behind in the work environment. It's only been 10 months since I was at a desk job and yet, I feel the change of schedule hugely. I also have incredibly tight deadlines, which is great for my creativity but adds to the stress. I'm pretty sure I didn't ever have such tight deadlines at SCLE, but so far thankfully I've made them here. It's been a good feeling to have something productive to do 3 days a week, although the house is not looking so good and Mark and I actually ran out of some much needed clean clothing yesterday. I'm still figuring out the balance of work and home stuff. It's nice to feel useful again. And yet, it is difficult to balance that with the knowledge that this is temporary.

All this work waiting that I've had since I got married and moved has really lead me to realize how job focused our culture is. I've been amazed at how many people's first question to me is "what do you do?" and then followed by "where do you work?" Actually, worse than that, has been the drop in conversation when I've said I'm working from home, or I'm an independent designer, or I'm looking for a position. I constantly get the impression that I suddenly lost value and interest when I "confessed" that I don't have a job. Lately, it has been worse. Several people will ask "have you found a job yet?" and then follow it with a brilliant idea that I should apply for secretarial work at some place and then maybe I'll be promoted to a design position or something else. Coming up with pleasant responses to this has been difficult. My head usually follows a train of thought similar to: "Hmm, that definitely wouldn't work in the design world. And oh, that makes me feel great, as you are basically saying I must not be good enough for anyone to be interested in as a designer, so perhaps I should look for something else. Forget about that Design degree I worked so hard for and oh, it couldn't possibly be that the economy sucks right now and no one is capable of hiring." Thankfully I've successfully kept these thoughts to myself, but I'm beginning to feel as if I'm not allowed to not have a job unless I'm a stay-at-home mom, which we're definitely not ready for and I'm definitely not sure I want to give up design when we are. I was thinking about Spain the other day and how the first questions people ask you there are how your family is. I miss that. Why are we so focused on what you do and rank your value according to that? There is so much more to a person than what they can do.

Well, for now at least, I have an accepted answer to the questions. And, I'm working on that continued patience as apparently I'm supposed to be in temporary stuff for a while. I enjoy it, the insecurity just gets to me every once in a while. I need to remember that my value however does not lie in whether or not I have an acceptable job. But, there's a little mailer brochure calling to me right now which desperately needs to be finished before 5. Off I go, little designer that I am…

the time of year to buy school supplies and pumpkins

(As a side note, I have not been intentionally neglecting my blog this time. My little 6 year old ibook decided to have a lot of issues last week including the battery refusing to charge past 32% and eventually the power cord smoking and burning a hole through itself. As I use that computer more than any other, I just haven't sat down to write or catch up on my friends' blogs. So, here I am, for now at least. Hopefully the new battery will arrive today…)

I love fall! It is my most favorite season. I love the clothes, the smells, the foods, the school supplies, and the list could go on. This morning, I almost pulled out my sweater box but decided I should wait at least one more week. Yes, it is a wonderful 75 today and has that brilliant fall coolness to it, but I'm not quite convinced that it will stay.

I also love the month of September. Such a lovely month. Not only does fall officially start in September, but my birthday also comes. I love birthdays! It's silly and I've always suspected that I would grow out of it considering no one in my family really cares about their birthdays, but here I am, 5.5 days away from turning 24 and I am so excited! Anytime I think of something special that could happen around my birthday, I always sing a quick little part of the birthday song, "happy birthday to me" and Mark just laughs and rolls his eyes. Birthdays are so fun. Sometimes I wish I was still a kid so I could tell people it is my birthday or that my birthday is in 5.5 days. Not to get gifts, I just want them to know.

Last year was a terrible, horrible birthday. Mark was already living here in Knoxville and was supposed to come to Arkansas for the weekend. The night before he was to leave, he got really sick and couldn't make it. Terrible. On top of that, no one at my work remembered my birthday, even just to say a "happy birthday" and that night, I ended up calling some friends to go out for dinner since I couldn't bear the thought of eating leftovers alone in my apartment. It was such a dreadful day.

This one is already turning out amazing and it is not even here yet. I've already received several gifts and know of one that I'll get on that actual day. My in-laws gave me a few gifts when they were here, and they also gave me some money for whatever else. So spoiled! It has been so fun to order some of the silly things like a movie or cd that I've been wanting for a while, but haven't wanted to spend the money on as there are many other married and house things that we need.

So my birthday weekend, as Mark decided we would call it, is going to consist of P.F. Chang's dumplings, funfetti cake, Juno, and probably at least part of You've Got Mail. Not to mention that one gift that Mark has been hiding from me for a couple weeks now. I feel like I'm 6 again! 5.5 days!

finally…

As a child, I remember my parents requiring head protection anytime I desired to ride around our neighborhood and even as a small child, I remember being embarrassed by the dreadfully unfashionable look of typical helmets. Really, it is nearly impossible to not feel like a complete dork when riding around in a traditional helmet. And then, in high school, I went through a big rollerblading phase. I spent hours playing and thinking about playing street hockey, which is an incredibly cool and fun sport, and, being the ridiculously competitive person that I am, often a bit dangerous. Not only was it difficult to not be dorky on a regular basis while making it through the horrendous puberty years of high school, but add in trying to play such a cool sport as hockey while wearing a hideous and obstructive helmet. And, typically, I was the only girl on our street who played. (Somewhere I missed the memo as a teen that I was supposed to get into clothes and makeup and talking about boys like the other girls in my neighborhood. I instead was the athletic and rarely feminine girl on our block.) Luckily, my mother took pity on me at some point and stopped nagging me to wear head protection as long as I kept the knee pads and often wrist pads (which I started wearing on my own anyway, since I was tired of slamming the pavement and nearly killing my wrists). Thankfully, I think my mom understood my need for limiting dorkiness as much as possible. Not to mention the nasty, sweaty helmet hair that always resulted.

But now, they finally come out with something that at least attempts to mask the ugliness of helmets.



It's about time. I'm sure they are probably still a bit clunky, but at least they have a tendency towards fashion instead of ignoring it completely. I would wear one, too bad my bike got stolen back in Arkansas. Mark's did too. But maybe someday, when we can afford to repurchase some bikes, we will add these helmets to our cart. Thanks to AT (one of my favorite design blogs) for bringing these to my attention.

someday…

maybe we will have a Red and White Irish Setter



for now, I'll just look at them online.


pictures from www.irishredandwhitesetterclub.org and www.dogbreedinfo.com

ode to the raincoat… and that beloved Oreo bedspread

There is a quite a lovely rain falling today. It tends to put me into that You've Got Mail, ponderous sort of mood. I feel the need for a nap, but I also want to make some cookies. I'm not sure which will win out right now. Unfortunately with the rain comes my thoughts towards a certain apple green raincoat that I fell in love with at the Gap Outlet a few weeks ago. I could not buy it as our present state of finances does not allow much room for silly clothing purchases, but alas, I cannot forget that coat. Although I cannot purchase it, I've searched for it online and at our local Gap store in hopes of seeing it again, but no, it can only be found on that little rack in the Sevierville Gap Outlet. It is very rare that I come across something in a store which I regret not being able to buy immensely and cannot seem to forget about it for several weeks. I hate these random materialistic obsessions. This will probably turn in to the same story as the Oreo bedspread I didn't buy for my first year of college. Yes, I'm still sorry about that non-purchase 6 years later. I loved that bedspread and matching throw pillow. I'm sure I'm a better person because I don't get what I want all the time, but it really sucks when something sticks with me and I regret not being frivolous every once in a while. Perhaps I'll make cookies.

our house is a very, very fine house…

And finally some pictures of our lovely little home. There are more on my facebook if anyone wants to see the whole place, but here are some of my favorites:

I'll pass this on too

I recently stumbled across this video while reading a design blog. I decided I would put it on here too, not only to share, but so I can find it again.

it's funny that salt makes me smile

I just love the Morton Salt brand. It's silly really, but every time I see it's vintage design and lovely illustration, it just makes me feel nostalgic and smile. It was created in 1914 and there really aren't that many logos out there that have lasted as long as Morton Salt's, although the little girl has gone through changes of her own. The tagline: "When it rains, it pours" is something that I find to be very unique, considering I don't think I would have thought of rain when advertising salt. It is just lovely, and I'm confident that it will continue to be so.

somedays I wish I had my own cooking show…

but I'm definitely not a good enough chef, I just pretend. This however is a post about how I made my slow cooker lasagna today. It is a delicious recipe and I decided it was time to take pictures. Since the pictures turned out fun, I decided to post them. And since I figure whomever sees these pictures might want to try the recipe themselves, I decided to write out the recipe steps and make it my version of a cooking show on my own blog. So, here it is…

SLOW COOKER LASAGNA | recipe originally from Real Simple
ingredients
2-28 ounce cans diced tomatoes, drained
3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/4 cup fresh oregano, chopped
Kosher salt & pepper
16 ounces fresh ricotta
1/2 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
12 ounces dry lasagna noodles
1 bunch Swiss chard, tough stems removed & torn into large pieces (I use baby spinach instead, since I can never find Swiss chard)
12 ounces mozzarella, grated

chopped parsley, oregano, garlic, and cut up baby spinach



In a medium bowl, combine the tomatoes, garlic, oregano, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper



In another medium bowl, combine the ricotta, parsley, Parmesan, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper





Spoon 1/3 cup of the tomato mixture into the bowl of the slow cooker.
Top that with a single layer of noodles (break them as necessary).
Add half the Swiss chard (or baby spinach).
Dollop with a third of the ricotta mixture and a third of the tomato mixture.
Sprinkle with a third of the mozzarella.
Add another layer of noodles and repeat with the other ingredients.



Finish with a layer of noodles, remaining ricotta, tomato mixture, and mozzarella.



Set the slow cooker to low and cook, covered, until the noodles are tender (2 hours).



It is delicious! Try it if you want. Usually only takes about 25 minutes to put it together. Of course, you can always come visit us and request that I make it…

Ikea, guests and oh my… the Olympics

I love Ikea! It was such an incredible experience. We probably could have spent a couple days there, but ended up going twice, stopped on the way up to Maryland and on the way back home. And yes, we bought a guest bed. It was a tough decision, but ultimately we bought the best priced one. I would put up a picture of it, but our guest room is in use for the first time by my parents. It has been a bit of a whirlwind since the trip. We got home around 9 on that Sunday night. Monday, I finished painting the trim in the guest bedroom and bath. Monday night, Mark and I purchased a mattress at a local store, spent some hard work putting the bed up, and finally got the guest room together. Tuesday, I hung pictures throughout the house, cleaned like crazy and got some groceries. And Tuesday night, my parents arrived from Kansas City. Our first guests!

This weekend we took them around Knoxville and saw some of the fun sights. We also went to the Tennessee Theatre and saw the 1937 movie It Happened One Night with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. It was so much fun!! The movie was hilarious and even better since majority of the audience probably saw it when it first came out in 1937. The Tennessee Theatre is incredible in itself. It was built in 1928ish and is simply beautiful and historic. We also took them up the Sunsphere, which always gives me a headache, but is a fun outing.

We've been watching a lot of the Olympics this weekend too. The opening ceremonies were so great. But last night took the cake. If you missed the 4x100 men's relay swim, then you missed something amazing! Michael Phelps is the first leg of that relay, but the anchor Jason Lezak dominated. It was the best Olympic experience for me so far. I was jumping up and down and screaming. Watch it, seriously. I love the Olympics!

the long road ahead

I'm tired. The house is still quite a mess, but I'm tired. I've taken two hour long naps today, not a two hour nap, but two separate times of one hour naps. I am however very proud of how lovely the house is coming together. Mark rebuilt the shelves in our closets last night and he did an incredibly impressive job especially with him being new at this whole home improvement thing. I'm so happy to finally have a usable closet after living here over a week. My clothes now have a home too. Our bedroom is officially done now. We put our headboard up this weekend that we've been making for a couple of months now and that really helped to tie the room together. Other rooms still have a little ways to go. We don't have anything hanging on the walls yet, which is starting to bug me, but we'll get that started soon. Probably tonight. We paid our first mortgage payment yesterday so it's all starting to sink in.

The title of this post however doesn't really have anything to do with our house. We are leaving for Maryland early tomorrow morning. Very early. It is an eleven hour drive and we are going to make it there by tomorrow night. Yes, we will make it! I'm looking forward to the weekend in Maryland (we're driving back Sunday). We're going to Mark's friend's wedding, meeting his aunt, and going to chill with his Grandma whom I love dearly. Not to mention that I get to shop with his mom and probably clean out his old room. Should be fun. But, the thing I'm looking forward to the most is our stop at Ikea on the way. I've never been to an Ikea before and we discovered that one is directly on route in Woodbridge, Virginia. This is very exciting. I've heard it is quite an experience. I have a wishlist for Ikea, but the budget is not going to support all the purchases we crave, so hopefully there will be more stops in the future. I must come home this trip with a bed for our guest room. We need one. We like theirs. But we refuse to pay almost the price of the bed in shipping. So, Ikea here we come. Back in a couple days.

can I just lick the walls?

Last weekend, Mark and I finished painting our master bedroom in the new house. We move in Saturday, and as we have a platform bed, we really wanted the bedroom done so we could setup the bed and not have to paint around it. We did some great horizontal stripes (I'll be putting pictures up sometime in the future). The bottom stripe is this gorgeous deep brown color that reminded me so much of fudge. Every time we poured it into the paint trays I really wanted to taste it. Over the course of the painting, I started wondering what it would be like to paint with chocolate. Then I could just taste the walls whenever I needed a chocolate boost. The practicality of it isn't there, but I'm sure someone like Willy Wonka could have done it.

a little introspection

I have always thought blogging to be intriguing and yet a little bizarre. I have had this blog for many years now and cannot call myself an avid blogger as my times of writing are always few and far between and most often I don't really enjoy it. I do however, read several people's blogs daily. Most being people I know or know through someone and find relatively interesting, or some just being design blogs by pseudo well-known design people. This morning I stumbled across an old acquaintance's blog and skimmed it for content to see if I was interested in reading it. This is where I found an article from the New York times by a used-to-be-public blogger. It is very long and I did not intend to read it all, but I did. I found it to be interesting, thought-provoking, and a little sad. It blows my mind how far this blogging practice can be taken and how it is used societally to share gossip, stalk people, and as this article seems to think—turn into a way to comment and ridicule someone else without even having to know them. I'm not against blogging by any means, I've just never quite understood why people take it so far.

Turning back to my personal story on blogging, I feel like a phony. Somehow, I enjoy writing on my blog on rare occasions even though I don't think anyone actually reads it anymore. And I don't know that I really care if they do or not. Of course, it would be nice if someone found me interesting enough to follow, but I don't really set myself up well for that. And I don't think there is a chance of me being very interesting in blog-form. I know myself to be more of a sit-and-have-coffee-with type.

I keep stopping and staring off into space attempting to figure out why I keep this blog and continue to post when I don't think anyone reads it except perhaps my husband on the rare occasion that he thinks about its existence. I never enjoyed or felt the need to journal or write in a diary. Oh, I had plenty of diaries growing up, but none that have more than 1-5 posts in them. I always received diaries for everything. It seems that a large majority of women, especially an older generation, finds diaries and journals to be necessary to everyday life and hoped to urge me to write my random daily activities down for someone many years from now to find and read. I think I received 3 for engagement gifts—none of which I used. I wanted to. I do find the idea of them nostalgic and almost beautiful, as I would greatly enjoy coming across my now passed grandmother's diary, but every time I sat down to start this journalling thing, nothing I had to write down seemed remotely within the categories of nostalgic, beautiful or readable.

And yet, when I do want to write, I keep coming back to the blog. Perhaps it is because I am of the technological generation and I prefer typing to writing. I've always appreciated the quote from "You've Got Mail" when Meg's character says "Good night dear void." Or maybe it has something to do with me getting tired of so many diaries piling up in the bookshelf with only a few pages written in. Maybe I do want some sort of documentation of my existence over the years. Or maybe this is just my way of actually verbalizing thoughts sometimes, especially those that I would not be able to communicate well in person or would have anyone that might find the verbalization compelling. No matter what, here I sit, writing yet again in my unpatterned way and wondering why I do.

what's going on

1. I have a freelance job with a design studio here in Knoxville. It's so nice to finally be designing again. I finished one job for them last week and they contacted me again today to offer me another one. Looks like the start of a beautiful friendship.

2. I may have a job offer next week for a full-time position. I interviewed with them 2 weeks ago and they really liked me. They had a position possibly opening up July 1, so that's what I'm waiting to hear about. Here's hoping…

3. We just bought a house! Yes, I am now a homeowner. We are going to eat dinner at the empty house tonight and I'm going to take some pictures so perhaps they will be posted soon. It hasn't quite sunk in yet, but it is so exciting. It is such a darling little house. I can't wait to start painting! Pictures coming soon.

a lapse in information

I was skimming over my past few posts and realized I forgot to mention that I got married in the past 5 months. Big thing. Sorry I forgot that little tidbit. So, married and now living in Knoxville. A quick sum of things I forgot.

and it's up!

After several weeks of excruciating work, I finally have my personal website up and running: my website
Let's hope it does the trick of getting me a job…

H is for holiday

Thanksgiving is gone. My favorite holiday. My favorite time of year. Leaves. Crisp air. Pumpkins, harvesty candles, and candy corn. And quickly following its wake was Christmas. I can't figure out what happened to Christmas. I was just starting to discover the most intensely festive lit houses in our neighborhood and practicing my "Merry Christmases" to anyone I possibly may make eye contact with. The bells of the salvation army bucket ringers were just getting in sync with the holiday bustle. I was starting to warm up to all the possible Christmas present ideas for my suddenly much larger family and figuring out the best stores to shop at without getting mauled. Now I am late. Christmas has come and gone. I'm still looking for some peoples presents and figuring out how to ship others. And New Years is just around the corner. Perhaps I can still blame all this on the "newly married" part of my life.

I do love the holidays. I just wish I could remember them this year.

double spacing after a period

On a typewriter, all characters are monospaced; each letter takes up the same amount of space—the letter "i" takes up as much space as the letter "m" and a period takes up the same amount of space as a capital "W." Because all characters are monospaced, the tradition was to type two spaces after periods to separate sentences.

Computers use fonts that are proportional, each character taking up a proportional amount of space—a typical letter "i" takes up about one-fifth the space of the letter "m." So you no longer need extra spaces to separate sentences. Pull down any book on your shelf—you won't find two spaces between sentences. We don't need the extra space to tell us when a new sentence has started. With the creation of fonts and computers, the extra space is actually distracting.

Yes, this is a difficult habit to break, but it must be done. If you don't believe me (or my sources in graphic design training), check with the "goddesses of all things editorial" The Chicago Manual of Style.

[There are a couple fonts (Courier and Monaco) that were created to resemble typewriter quality and are still created monospaced; but they are few in number and not very pleasant looking.]

Most of this is paraphrased from The Mac is Not a Typewriter by Robin Williams

looking for the why

Full-time graphic designer has been great. In-house graphic designer has not. Unexpected challenges arise when one Creative exists in an office of many… well, not creatives. I am piling up quite a paragraph of relevant experience. I have a heap of responsibility—there is actual back-strain involved most days (correct posture in front of a computer for 8 hours a day is really important). I also have some great projects, a handful of new and wonderful people and a growing curiosity for the growth of design, branding and my knowledge of it all.

However, I'm not going to sit here and recap a lot of unimportant details on how I got here or what I'm doing now that I am here.

Another print project has landed on my task list. I excitedly dove into this project with research and thumbnail ideas only to discover the intended content is grossly in need of a face lift. The content reads much like the fine print on an exciting ad, yet is missing the exciting part that brought the reader to the fine print in the first place. There is no "why." A reader would glance at this piece, never finding an interesting word to begin with and leave the piece never knowing exactly what it was. My latest hero and brand guru, Marty Neumeier, discusses the packaging design natural reading sequence in his impressive book The Brand Gap:

1. Grab attention. 2. What is it? 3. Why should they care? 4. Why should they buy? 5. Finally, the then necessary buying details.

The content in this piece bypasses the first 4 and beelines to #5 as it cancels out the "then necessary" part.
So here I sit, looking for the "why," and pondering how it could be possible to lose it in the first place.

what am I doing?

QUICK FACTS:

I graduated December 17. Wahoo!

I recently moved. Just across town. I now live in a beautiful little townhome with 2 stories, brick outside and 2.5 baths. Amazing.

I am very psyched that I will be going to Laguna Beach, Florida in May for an RUF conference.

Mark graduates in 2.5 weeks. Woohoo!

Matt is leaving The Soderquist Center. Sad day.

Oh, by the way, I have a full-time gig at The Soderquist Center as their first designer. It is most often a roller coaster, but I love the work I do and am growing a ton.

I have a new little niece. Name: Mariana (not pronounced Mary-Anna, but a long "a" on both the "Mari" and the "ana") Perhaps that makes sense. She is adorable. Recent pictures of Maggie and Mariana are on my photo site (link on sidebar on right).

I am loving life outside of school. Lots of decisions and working. But I love it. Why didn't I do this earlier?

something to get behind

evolution | real beauty

my new place

sorry for the lack of posting. Intermittant access to internet at my apartment has made the essential internet things come to the top of my priorities. I will post news in the very near future; but for now, pictures of my apartment!

Uptown girls apartment

It is a wonderful place.

A great weekend. Mark came up from Branson. Friday night we went to an artwalk with Sean, Nicole, and a friend of Nicole's. It was in downtown KC. Not much what I would consider to be great art, but a couple interesting exhibits. Also, there were these cool street performers playing with fire and eating fire and breathing fire… quite astounding! Pictures here.

Apparently I sprained the cartiledge in my chest this weekend too. Painful. Unexplainable. And really weird.

Saturday, I gave my first haircut.



I was quite nervous, but it was rather fun and it came out well I think. Mark is happy with it. Yay!

Shopping at cargolargo! A most brilliant store. Incredible bargains!

Dinner date with Mark on Saturday night. New restaurant called Houlihans. Good food.

Sunday, my new church. Great sermon about holiness and love of the brethren from 1 Peter 1.

Lunch with my folks and Mark at Wabash BBQ. Simply delicious. I love bbq!

Church again (a new perspective on Psalm 139)and back to the count til school starts.

I really like weekends sometimes. Only one more.

yesterday, a happy day

Happy birthday to my darling niece Maggie! She turned 2 yesterday. (I did remember yesterday like the good aunt I am.)



New pictures soon I'm sure.

a delectable find

During a short trip to Branson as a surprise to Mark, I stumbled across this beauty on a store window. The words are a bit confusing; yet, the lettering was perfect and so ornate. The colors rich and well treated. Oh! It was a beautiful thing to behold. Why don't we do things as this anymore? Makes me want to open a shop just so my signs can be artistic elegance such as this. Who wouldn't buy from a store that displayed its identity (even a gun buying existence) in such a dignified manner?

how did I stumble on the coolest design studio?

hello faithful few who check my very sporadic posts.

My job at the River City Studio turned out to be a longer venture and a very time consuming project. This will be the end of my second week and I've been told they want me around for at least another week or two. I'm thrilled. It's almost too bad I have to go back to JBU middle of August. This place is incredible. It is situated on the second floor of a building at the edge of downtown KC. It is right on the river, hence the name, and just down the street from the River Market. I have yet to venture there, but I plan on it (today decided to rain cats and dogs). Speaking of cats, there are two cats which live in the Studio: Yoda and Melia. My dislike for cats has decreased greatly while working here. They really are rather cute and funny and sometimes just plain darling. Unfortunately, I am allergic to cats so they cause me some discomfort through the day. I think I've finally figured out the right amount and mixture of allergy meds so my days have become more tolerable. I'm determined to work here as long as they want me and no cats are going to deter that. Yoda is a tabby cat and he can be quite feisty some days. Melia however is gentle, fat and meows a lot. I'm on lunch break and she is right now, sitting on my desk, in between my arms as I type, determined to get some attention. They shed like crazy! All my clothes are covered with hair when I leave at the end of the day.

The studio itself is awesome. It's a really old building with creaky wood floors and and open ceiling so you can see all the wire work, tubes, and planks. There aren't any enclosed offices but lots of cubicles in a pretty unorganized fashion. The cubicles are all different shapes with different cuts on the top and the walls are all different bright colors and have segments of frosted glass cubes in them so if you look at them as a whole, they resemble an artistic rendition of a cityscape. There are two areas of lobby-like places with small rolling armchairs and weirdly shaped tables. Also, the "conference room" is near the front of the office and is just a stretch across the room of several tables put together with rolling office chairs around them. It is "separated" by a couple cubicles on two sides. Also, all the cubicles have white erase boards and gray cork randomly put in them so they blend in to the area but there is a place to put stuff and write notes. Other features are a kitchen area which has 2 microwaves, a fridge, counterspace, sink, mini-coke machine, and a tall table with stools around it. The other major feature is the lighting. There was an article about them online and the architect dude who did the lighting I think. Find it here. The atmosphere of this place is really creative and edgy.

On a minor note, I have yet to do any design work, and probably won't. They hired me as the intern for one specific project and so far I've worked on that which is a massive web research job (compiling over 530 hyperlinks with descriptions) and I've scanned over 200 old WWI photos at the Liberty Memorial. I've enjoyed listening in on meetings, watching the main designer and the web people battle their deadlined projects, as well as just be in contact with professional designers every day. One of my favorite quick jobs was filing a pile of their copies of projects they've done. It was so exciting to look through them, get a better feel for the work they actually do and what they can put out. I also answer phones a lot, which I rather enjoy amazingly enough. The work of an intern sure can be tedious and boring, but wow! the experience of being a part of this studio is absolutely worth it.

I really love design. And I'm really going to miss this studio.

a little time to chill

Well the weddings went off fairly smoothly I think. A little stressful in preparation and setting up, but all in all, lovely.

Favorite Amy & Dani weddings moments:
•getting Amy ready in the hotel room. (Actually, it was more like watching Amy get ready for me as Dani did her hair and Amy did her own makeup and I just took pictures)
•taking off my shoes at Amy's reception
•hanging out with Erin and taking a hot walk with her around a block or two.
•wearing a fun red dress
•hanging out with Mark, Noah, Cade & Marcia (it was so great to see C & M although somewhat strange that they are married!)
•staying in a hotel with Emily & Erin and playing cards til 1am with Nathaniel & Sam
•seeing the Jernigan family in action once again and feeling warmly loved by them, especially Hannah & darling Glory
•crying through all of Dani's wedding (perhaps not a favorite moment but definitely memorable)
•laying around & talking with Dani the night before Amy's wedding
•becoming a pro at making corsages & bouquets
•being with friends and laughing a lot

Pictures of Luke & Amy's wedding are here. and Israel & Dani's wedding pics will be up there soon too.

In other news, the interview went rotten. I don't think he wanted to be there interviewing and he waited til I was there and talking with him to tell me that there aren't any job openings with them. I'm not sure why he wanted to interview me when there isn't anywhere for him to put me. He also seemed rather multi-taskish during the whole "interview," taking a phone call and acting bored a few times although he ended up doing most of the talking. Well, I'm sure I learned something anyway and the experience will be handy sometime in my life.

In better news, I have a very short-term job starting tomorrow morning at 9. The company is River City Studio and I'm doing a small research project involving a website. Sounds pretty simple, but possibly time-consuming. Honestly, I'm just excited to be doing something out of the house and to be able to meet and work with some designers on their turf. Who cares what I'm doing! It should hopefully be a great experience and I'll at least make a new friend/contact in the design world.

Also, I have discovered a really cool church. It is called Northland Reformed Church and they are about 5 minutes from my house. I stumbled across them while coming back from taking Erin to the airport. They are a small congregation—probably about 50-60 people—but they are really genuine and kind. I really enjoyed the service Sunday morning and found a great deal in the sermon that I couldn't stop thinking about during the day. I also met some very nice folks who talked with me about different topics, most especially what brought me to a Reformed church. I really like that their questions were very geared towards faith and not normal small talk/being friendly jargon. My dad and I also went back last night and he was greatly impressed by them too. The pastor even followed us to the lobby, remembered my name and kept a good conversation with my dad. It is so strange how these things happen when the summer is almost over. A job and a great church all in one week. As always, God is faithful and always in his own time. Wahoo!

more more more

Wow, these past few weeks went so fast. Recap:
Not much going on. Enjoyed being with my family and hanging out with beloved Nicole for hours a week. Chatted and chilled with Luke, Ryan, & Allison quite a bit and had a couple great cups of coffee (one with Amy and one with Galina). Also had an intense doctor check-up. I've been having weird heart episodes lately, something that is irritated randomly by caffeine (randomly I say because it isn't always and sometimes isn't related to it at all.) So, got an x-ray, an EKG, and had several things of blood taken. [apparently my body doesn't react really well to that. Almost passed out and definitely started dry heaving. Mmm… lovely experience.]

Last weekend was Julia's wedding. Very delightful. Pictures here.
Hooray for Julia!

Now I'm off for Siloam Springs. Amy and Luke get married on Saturday and Dani and Israel on Monday. I feel like I've been packing for hours. Lots of pictures later I'm sure. I get to see Erin this weekend too. [And Mark!]

Also, tomorrow morning I have a job interview with an ad agency in Springdale. I'm greatly looking forward to it with a very nervous stomach. More about that soon too.

Now I must hit the road.

who would have thought…

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful. You show the world what culture really is.

Who's Your Inner European?

one down, three to go

Cade & Marcia's wedding: a beautiful event this past weekend in Dallas. My travelling companions were Noah, Michael Cureton, and Mark [all groomsmen]. The trip was marvelous: humorous, quick, and full of loud driving music.

Favorite moments:
1) Thursday night arriving late to the rehearsal dinner and then sprinting through the mall 2 minutes before it closed so they could try on their tuxes.
2) Cade & Marcia wrote and sang a song together in their wedding. It was sweet and humorous.
3) dancing at the reception
4) bowling Friday night after the wedding [and doing terribly!]
5) singing loudly to Beatles songs in the car

Pictures here

so I'm a typography nerd

Recently ran across this specimen of typographic beauty. This gorgeous piece of work is humbly displayed above one of the entrances of the no-longer-elegant Sears store. Just walking under this window sign made me think of all those old movies with the perfect little department stores and the neatly dressed salesclerks in A-line skirts, and I suddenly wished I hadn't forgotten my little white gloves. Why did Sears ever change their logo?? The new version is so much more hideous now that I've seen the old one.

time slowly going by

well, if we were going completely by my blog, it would seem that I either never left for break, or never came back. Neither of those are true. Break was great, very relaxing and full of movies and laying around. The last few weeks of school were fine as well. Fairly insane as always. I completed my portfolio and did the big show. It was actually very fun and I gained a lot more confidence because of it.

Now, I'm at home.

Time goes by very differently at home. I have 4 weddings to make it to this summer, and in between those, I'm really hoping for a job. Things aren't looking up at the moment for one. I've contacted so many companies and everyone really takes their time on getting back with me. The only high possibilities are ones where people I know found out I was interested and started talking about me. It is great to know people, I just hope something actually comes of it.

While I pass the times between e-mails and phone calls, I've been trying to clean my room. I have so much junk. One of the downsides of my family is that we all were taught to save things and be sentimental about them. My room is just full of stuff I really don't need and probably don't care much about. Realistically, I think this could be my last full summer at home and that kind of worries me as I do not want to do this cleaning out when I'm actually trying to move out. So, I'm at least brushing the surface now. I can't help but think what my room would be like if I lived in a different culture.

So, that is an update on my life. Seems pretty dull, but it is my life right now. I look forward to the weddings especially as I'll get to see some of my favorite people. Nicole comes home in 3 days. That is something to look forward to as well.

Oh, I also bought a cd yesterday, Sophie Milman. Really great recent jazz girl. Liking it, a lot.

so much to do

spring break begins in about 27 hours. I can't wait.

disposable plate schedules

today is a lovely day. the weather site told me it was going to rain today, but I still haven't run into any drops. I'm wearing green. I love that color. I like this day.

I have a lot to do this week. One professor of two of my classes is gone and I'm sure that was intended to give me more time, but somehow I have more to do than time for it all. I was thinking back to elementary school days when I used to take a disposable plate and section off time in the day. I used to color different sections and write what those times would be used for. I was always really good about giving breaks especially if I got something done before that time slot was up. I began my organizational skills early in life.

That was back in the days when I made my sister's bed for her too… for fun.

catch up time

Hard to believe I haven't updated since New Year's. Sometimes I just get so busy, and other times, I just don't really care to sit down and think of what I would like to say. I should though. So I will now.

The past month and a half or so have been very up and down. Biggest highlights would be that I'm working on my portfolio this semester and in the process of applying to 2 companies for possible design internships this summer. I've been really dragging my heels on actually applying—waiting for all kinds of encouragents and go-aheads from stable people in my life. Truth probably is that I'm scared to actually finish the applying process. Such a vunerable position to put my stuff out there and ask for someone to give me a chance.

Another highlight is that I get to talk to my sister every week via skype, which if you haven't discovered this service, you might want to. That has been a great blessing as I miss her input in my life and just hearing her voice sometimes is comforting. We've tended to talk about silly things lately, rather than do the catch up "how's this and that." I miss coffee dates with her and watching Saved by the Bell reruns and laying on her big double bed with a heating blanket to talk about what's coming for us in life.

Another very exciting thing that happened this month was that I got to see my great supervisor from Spain, Kristin. She popped into KC for over a week and I went to meet her for a couple days. It was wonderful. We had a marathon of Caryn and Kristin time, hitting up Borders twice and drinking several cups of coffee while diving into deep conversation about missions, design, God's will, etc…. It was a great blessing to see her and hug her. God is very faithful with the people He brings in and out of my life. I look forward to the next time Kristin pops in.

Thinking of God's faithfulness brings to mind the sad event that has changed the past couple weeks of my life. I wasn't sure if I wanted to write of this, but it is a part of my life and more than anything do I want to share how incredibly merciful and faithful God really is. I very often forget that and I very often don't mention it much for silly fear of sounding fanatical and super-religious about God. I'm working on that fear and trying to learn this realness that I so desire to come out in my speech. This event that I'm talking around is the passing away of my grandmother. She died February 6, almost 2 days after I came back from KC. Although my family knew it was coming, it was quite a blow to me. I was so blessed to randomly stop in and see her on that Friday that I went home to see Kristin. I spent a little over an hour talking with her and telling stories from school and listening to my Grandpa's preaching stories. That last time with her was so precious. I didn't like to admit it then, but on the drive back to school, I knew that was the last time. She had kissed me with a look in her eyes that said farewell. Sounds incredibly made up and fanciful I'm sure, but I know what I saw and what I felt and that's all the really matters to me. Sparing all the rest of the details of this, that week was tough and I began to learn to grieve. For closure and to be there for my family, I flew home on Sunday and attended the funeral and dinner on Monday then came back Tuesday. It was quick, but it did me in. I've been exhausted all week. I'm very thankful for that time though. I got to see all my aunts and uncles on that side (7 and their spouses) and I was able to see some of my cousins whom I hadn't seen in years. Our family is huge and some of us are closer than others geographically and relationally. I'm sure anyone who comprehends the entire paragraph that they are reading is wondering how this relates to God's faithfulness. Well, for the past 6 months, my Nana has gotten increasingly worse in her lung disease. My family has been praying that God would take her quickly. She has always hated doctors and more than anything would hate being put in a hospital or a home. My Grandpa also wished to see her go peacefully as the pain was so great for her and his heart to watch her die. I remember on the drive back to school praying through tears that God would be merciful and take her immediately. I've never prayed something like that before, but it was answered a day and a half later. She went peacefully while my Grandpa prayed with her.

I've never felt like God needed to do something to show Himself faithful, but when I needed it to be vibrant before me, He was. Now I'm playing catch up with all my classes and homework as well as becoming addicted to naps. I've succeeded in taking 2 naps every day since I got back. I guess I'm just recovering from emotional whatever this is. Sleeping is good however. I'm going to close this now, since it has become immensely long. It's my fault for not writing in so long. So, until next post…

happy happy new year

I can't believe it is January 1, a new year. This is 2006, the year I will be graduating. At least near the end of it I will. I feel like I should make some resolutions; but none have come to mind. Perhaps later, now… pizza!

unbelievable

I was catching up on a friend's blog and stumbled upon his newest post that mentioned an interesting article about churches as businesses, Jesus, CEO. Is this what we are becoming? I don't understand where we get the idea that this is what church is. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I have old-fashioned ideas about church. Maybe Christians are supposed to be focused on reaching everyone else and put worshiping God as a low priority. Maybe Christians are supposed to get burnt out and not understand their source. Maybe Christians are supposed to think they have the power and ability to "save" people. Maybe Christians aren't supposed to grow and become more like Christ.

If this is what Christianity is about, what church is; then I'm out.

another song rings true

"I'll Be Home For Christmas" was resounding through my head as I drove the familiar four and a half hours to my house. The trip was pretty smooth. A wopping three hours of sleep the night before kept me pouring cappuccino and Mountain Dew into my tired body. I hit snow a little outside KC and it was beautiful. It stayed small until I pulled into the driveway, then the huge flakes fell. We got two inches of snow during the day and four more that night. I of course was sleeping most of the time. Snow is wonderful when you can be inside under a couple of blankets and watching delightful old movies.

So now I'm home. I've slept an immense amount, had doctor and dentist appointments, and shopping quite a bit. I've never really enjoyed shopping; but there is something wonderful about wandering around the stores, especially around the holidays. The new styles are fun to experience and people are marvelous. There are wild little kids running around, often getting hollared at; and a plethora of people spending an exorbitant amount of money that they really don't have on stuff they really don't need. Personally, I enjoy saying "Merry Christmas!" whether its politically correct or not.

Today is another relaxed day. I'll probably knit some more, something I've done in large amounts lately. I may run to some cute little stores too and try to finish off my Christmas shopping. I love the holidays! I love breaks!