Thursday, August 28, 2008

finally…

As a child, I remember my parents requiring head protection anytime I desired to ride around our neighborhood and even as a small child, I remember being embarrassed by the dreadfully unfashionable look of typical helmets. Really, it is nearly impossible to not feel like a complete dork when riding around in a traditional helmet. And then, in high school, I went through a big rollerblading phase. I spent hours playing and thinking about playing street hockey, which is an incredibly cool and fun sport, and, being the ridiculously competitive person that I am, often a bit dangerous. Not only was it difficult to not be dorky on a regular basis while making it through the horrendous puberty years of high school, but add in trying to play such a cool sport as hockey while wearing a hideous and obstructive helmet. And, typically, I was the only girl on our street who played. (Somewhere I missed the memo as a teen that I was supposed to get into clothes and makeup and talking about boys like the other girls in my neighborhood. I instead was the athletic and rarely feminine girl on our block.) Luckily, my mother took pity on me at some point and stopped nagging me to wear head protection as long as I kept the knee pads and often wrist pads (which I started wearing on my own anyway, since I was tired of slamming the pavement and nearly killing my wrists). Thankfully, I think my mom understood my need for limiting dorkiness as much as possible. Not to mention the nasty, sweaty helmet hair that always resulted.

But now, they finally come out with something that at least attempts to mask the ugliness of helmets.



It's about time. I'm sure they are probably still a bit clunky, but at least they have a tendency towards fashion instead of ignoring it completely. I would wear one, too bad my bike got stolen back in Arkansas. Mark's did too. But maybe someday, when we can afford to repurchase some bikes, we will add these helmets to our cart. Thanks to AT (one of my favorite design blogs) for bringing these to my attention.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

someday…

maybe we will have a Red and White Irish Setter



for now, I'll just look at them online.


pictures from www.irishredandwhitesetterclub.org and www.dogbreedinfo.com

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

ode to the raincoat… and that beloved Oreo bedspread

There is a quite a lovely rain falling today. It tends to put me into that You've Got Mail, ponderous sort of mood. I feel the need for a nap, but I also want to make some cookies. I'm not sure which will win out right now. Unfortunately with the rain comes my thoughts towards a certain apple green raincoat that I fell in love with at the Gap Outlet a few weeks ago. I could not buy it as our present state of finances does not allow much room for silly clothing purchases, but alas, I cannot forget that coat. Although I cannot purchase it, I've searched for it online and at our local Gap store in hopes of seeing it again, but no, it can only be found on that little rack in the Sevierville Gap Outlet. It is very rare that I come across something in a store which I regret not being able to buy immensely and cannot seem to forget about it for several weeks. I hate these random materialistic obsessions. This will probably turn in to the same story as the Oreo bedspread I didn't buy for my first year of college. Yes, I'm still sorry about that non-purchase 6 years later. I loved that bedspread and matching throw pillow. I'm sure I'm a better person because I don't get what I want all the time, but it really sucks when something sticks with me and I regret not being frivolous every once in a while. Perhaps I'll make cookies.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

our house is a very, very fine house…

And finally some pictures of our lovely little home. There are more on my facebook if anyone wants to see the whole place, but here are some of my favorites:







Thursday, August 14, 2008

I'll pass this on too

I recently stumbled across this video while reading a design blog. I decided I would put it on here too, not only to share, but so I can find it again.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

it's funny that salt makes me smile


I just love the Morton Salt brand. It's silly really, but every time I see it's vintage design and lovely illustration, it just makes me feel nostalgic and smile. It was created in 1914 and there really aren't that many logos out there that have lasted as long as Morton Salt's, although the little girl has gone through changes of her own. The tagline: "When it rains, it pours" is something that I find to be very unique, considering I don't think I would have thought of rain when advertising salt. It is just lovely, and I'm confident that it will continue to be so.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

somedays I wish I had my own cooking show…

but I'm definitely not a good enough chef, I just pretend. This however is a post about how I made my slow cooker lasagna today. It is a delicious recipe and I decided it was time to take pictures. Since the pictures turned out fun, I decided to post them. And since I figure whomever sees these pictures might want to try the recipe themselves, I decided to write out the recipe steps and make it my version of a cooking show on my own blog. So, here it is…

SLOW COOKER LASAGNA
| recipe originally from Real Simple
ingredients
2-28 ounce cans diced tomatoes, drained
3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/4 cup fresh oregano, chopped
Kosher salt & pepper
16 ounces fresh ricotta
1/2 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
12 ounces dry lasagna noodles
1 bunch Swiss chard, tough stems removed & torn into large pieces (I use baby spinach instead, since I can never find Swiss chard)
12 ounces mozzarella, grated

chopped parsley, oregano, garlic, and cut up baby spinach



In a medium bowl, combine the tomatoes, garlic, oregano, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper



In another medium bowl, combine the ricotta, parsley, Parmesan, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper





Spoon 1/3 cup of the tomato mixture into the bowl of the slow cooker.
Top that with a single layer of noodles (break them as necessary).
Add half the Swiss chard (or baby spinach).
Dollop with a third of the ricotta mixture and a third of the tomato mixture.
Sprinkle with a third of the mozzarella.
Add another layer of noodles and repeat with the other ingredients.




Finish with a layer of noodles, remaining ricotta, tomato mixture, and mozzarella.



Set the slow cooker to low and cook, covered, until the noodles are tender (2 hours).



It is delicious! Try it if you want. Usually only takes about 25 minutes to put it together. Of course, you can always come visit us and request that I make it…

Monday, August 11, 2008

Ikea, guests and oh my… the Olympics

I love Ikea! It was such an incredible experience. We probably could have spent a couple days there, but ended up going twice, stopped on the way up to Maryland and on the way back home. And yes, we bought a guest bed. It was a tough decision, but ultimately we bought the best priced one. I would put up a picture of it, but our guest room is in use for the first time by my parents. It has been a bit of a whirlwind since the trip. We got home around 9 on that Sunday night. Monday, I finished painting the trim in the guest bedroom and bath. Monday night, Mark and I purchased a mattress at a local store, spent some hard work putting the bed up, and finally got the guest room together. Tuesday, I hung pictures throughout the house, cleaned like crazy and got some groceries. And Tuesday night, my parents arrived from Kansas City. Our first guests!

This weekend we took them around Knoxville and saw some of the fun sights. We also went to the Tennessee Theatre and saw the 1937 movie It Happened One Night with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. It was so much fun!! The movie was hilarious and even better since majority of the audience probably saw it when it first came out in 1937. The Tennessee Theatre is incredible in itself. It was built in 1928ish and is simply beautiful and historic. We also took them up the Sunsphere, which always gives me a headache, but is a fun outing.

We've been watching a lot of the Olympics this weekend too. The opening ceremonies were so great. But last night took the cake. If you missed the 4x100 men's relay swim, then you missed something amazing! Michael Phelps is the first leg of that relay, but the anchor Jason Lezak dominated. It was the best Olympic experience for me so far. I was jumping up and down and screaming. Watch it, seriously. I love the Olympics!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

the long road ahead

I'm tired. The house is still quite a mess, but I'm tired. I've taken two hour long naps today, not a two hour nap, but two separate times of one hour naps. I am however very proud of how lovely the house is coming together. Mark rebuilt the shelves in our closets last night and he did an incredibly impressive job especially with him being new at this whole home improvement thing. I'm so happy to finally have a usable closet after living here over a week. My clothes now have a home too. Our bedroom is officially done now. We put our headboard up this weekend that we've been making for a couple of months now and that really helped to tie the room together. Other rooms still have a little ways to go. We don't have anything hanging on the walls yet, which is starting to bug me, but we'll get that started soon. Probably tonight. We paid our first mortgage payment yesterday so it's all starting to sink in.

The title of this post however doesn't really have anything to do with our house. We are leaving for Maryland early tomorrow morning. Very early. It is an eleven hour drive and we are going to make it there by tomorrow night. Yes, we will make it! I'm looking forward to the weekend in Maryland (we're driving back Sunday). We're going to Mark's friend's wedding, meeting his aunt, and going to chill with his Grandma whom I love dearly. Not to mention that I get to shop with his mom and probably clean out his old room. Should be fun. But, the thing I'm looking forward to the most is our stop at Ikea on the way. I've never been to an Ikea before and we discovered that one is directly on route in Woodbridge, Virginia. This is very exciting. I've heard it is quite an experience. I have a wishlist for Ikea, but the budget is not going to support all the purchases we crave, so hopefully there will be more stops in the future. I must come home this trip with a bed for our guest room. We need one. We like theirs. But we refuse to pay almost the price of the bed in shipping. So, Ikea here we come. Back in a couple days.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

can I just lick the walls?

Last weekend, Mark and I finished painting our master bedroom in the new house. We move in Saturday, and as we have a platform bed, we really wanted the bedroom done so we could setup the bed and not have to paint around it. We did some great horizontal stripes (I'll be putting pictures up sometime in the future). The bottom stripe is this gorgeous deep brown color that reminded me so much of fudge. Every time we poured it into the paint trays I really wanted to taste it. Over the course of the painting, I started wondering what it would be like to paint with chocolate. Then I could just taste the walls whenever I needed a chocolate boost. The practicality of it isn't there, but I'm sure someone like Willy Wonka could have done it.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

a little introspection

I have always thought blogging to be intriguing and yet a little bizarre. I have had this blog for many years now and cannot call myself an avid blogger as my times of writing are always few and far between and most often I don't really enjoy it. I do however, read several people's blogs daily. Most being people I know or know through someone and find relatively interesting, or some just being design blogs by pseudo well-known design people. This morning I stumbled across an old acquaintance's blog and skimmed it for content to see if I was interested in reading it. This is where I found an article from the New York times by a used-to-be-public blogger. It is very long and I did not intend to read it all, but I did. I found it to be interesting, thought-provoking, and a little sad. It blows my mind how far this blogging practice can be taken and how it is used societally to share gossip, stalk people, and as this article seems to think—turn into a way to comment and ridicule someone else without even having to know them. I'm not against blogging by any means, I've just never quite understood why people take it so far.

Turning back to my personal story on blogging, I feel like a phony. Somehow, I enjoy writing on my blog on rare occasions even though I don't think anyone actually reads it anymore. And I don't know that I really care if they do or not. Of course, it would be nice if someone found me interesting enough to follow, but I don't really set myself up well for that. And I don't think there is a chance of me being very interesting in blog-form. I know myself to be more of a sit-and-have-coffee-with type.

I keep stopping and staring off into space attempting to figure out why I keep this blog and continue to post when I don't think anyone reads it except perhaps my husband on the rare occasion that he thinks about its existence. I never enjoyed or felt the need to journal or write in a diary. Oh, I had plenty of diaries growing up, but none that have more than 1-5 posts in them. I always received diaries for everything. It seems that a large majority of women, especially an older generation, finds diaries and journals to be necessary to everyday life and hoped to urge me to write my random daily activities down for someone many years from now to find and read. I think I received 3 for engagement gifts—none of which I used. I wanted to. I do find the idea of them nostalgic and almost beautiful, as I would greatly enjoy coming across my now passed grandmother's diary, but every time I sat down to start this journalling thing, nothing I had to write down seemed remotely within the categories of nostalgic, beautiful or readable.

And yet, when I do want to write, I keep coming back to the blog. Perhaps it is because I am of the technological generation and I prefer typing to writing. I've always appreciated the quote from "You've Got Mail" when Meg's character says "Good night dear void." Or maybe it has something to do with me getting tired of so many diaries piling up in the bookshelf with only a few pages written in. Maybe I do want some sort of documentation of my existence over the years. Or maybe this is just my way of actually verbalizing thoughts sometimes, especially those that I would not be able to communicate well in person or would have anyone that might find the verbalization compelling. No matter what, here I sit, writing yet again in my unpatterned way and wondering why I do.

Friday, June 27, 2008

what's going on

1. I have a freelance job with a design studio here in Knoxville. It's so nice to finally be designing again. I finished one job for them last week and they contacted me again today to offer me another one. Looks like the start of a beautiful friendship.

2. I may have a job offer next week for a full-time position. I interviewed with them 2 weeks ago and they really liked me. They had a position possibly opening up July 1, so that's what I'm waiting to hear about. Here's hoping…

3. We just bought a house! Yes, I am now a homeowner. We are going to eat dinner at the empty house tonight and I'm going to take some pictures so perhaps they will be posted soon. It hasn't quite sunk in yet, but it is so exciting. It is such a darling little house. I can't wait to start painting! Pictures coming soon.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

a lapse in information

I was skimming over my past few posts and realized I forgot to mention that I got married in the past 5 months. Big thing. Sorry I forgot that little tidbit. So, married and now living in Knoxville. A quick sum of things I forgot.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

and it's up!

After several weeks of excruciating work, I finally have my personal website up and running: my website
Let's hope it does the trick of getting me a job…

Friday, December 28, 2007

H is for holiday

Thanksgiving is gone. My favorite holiday. My favorite time of year. Leaves. Crisp air. Pumpkins, harvesty candles, and candy corn. And quickly following its wake was Christmas. I can't figure out what happened to Christmas. I was just starting to discover the most intensely festive lit houses in our neighborhood and practicing my "Merry Christmases" to anyone I possibly may make eye contact with. The bells of the salvation army bucket ringers were just getting in sync with the holiday bustle. I was starting to warm up to all the possible Christmas present ideas for my suddenly much larger family and figuring out the best stores to shop at without getting mauled. Now I am late. Christmas has come and gone. I'm still looking for some peoples presents and figuring out how to ship others. And New Years is just around the corner. Perhaps I can still blame all this on the "newly married" part of my life.

I do love the holidays. I just wish I could remember them this year.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

double spacing after a period

On a typewriter, all characters are monospaced; each letter takes up the same amount of space—the letter "i" takes up as much space as the letter "m" and a period takes up the same amount of space as a capital "W." Because all characters are monospaced, the tradition was to type two spaces after periods to separate sentences.

Computers use fonts that are proportional, each character taking up a proportional amount of space—a typical letter "i" takes up about one-fifth the space of the letter "m." So you no longer need extra spaces to separate sentences. Pull down any book on your shelf—you won't find two spaces between sentences. We don't need the extra space to tell us when a new sentence has started. With the creation of fonts and computers, the extra space is actually distracting.

Yes, this is a difficult habit to break, but it must be done. If you don't believe me (or my sources in graphic design training), check with the "goddesses of all things editorial" The Chicago Manual of Style.

[There are a couple fonts (Courier and Monaco) that were created to resemble typewriter quality and are still created monospaced; but they are few in number and not very pleasant looking.]

Most of this is paraphrased from The Mac is Not a Typewriter by Robin Williams

Monday, June 18, 2007

looking for the why

Full-time graphic designer has been great. In-house graphic designer has not. Unexpected challenges arise when one Creative exists in an office of many… well, not creatives. I am piling up quite a paragraph of relevant experience. I have a heap of responsibility—there is actual back-strain involved most days (correct posture in front of a computer for 8 hours a day is really important). I also have some great projects, a handful of new and wonderful people and a growing curiosity for the growth of design, branding and my knowledge of it all.

However, I'm not going to sit here and recap a lot of unimportant details on how I got here or what I'm doing now that I am here.

Another print project has landed on my task list. I excitedly dove into this project with research and thumbnail ideas only to discover the intended content is grossly in need of a face lift. The content reads much like the fine print on an exciting ad, yet is missing the exciting part that brought the reader to the fine print in the first place. There is no "why."
A reader would glance at this piece, never finding an interesting word to begin with and leave the piece never knowing exactly what it was. My latest hero and brand guru, Marty Neumeier, discusses the packaging design natural reading sequence in his impressive book The Brand Gap:

1. Grab attention. 2. What is it? 3. Why should they care? 4. Why should they buy? 5. Finally, the then necessary buying details.

The content in this piece bypasses the first 4 and beelines to #5 as it cancels out the "then necessary" part.

So here I sit, looking for the "why," and pondering how it could be possible to lose it in the first place.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

what am I doing?

QUICK FACTS:

I graduated December 17. Wahoo!

I recently moved. Just across town. I now live in a beautiful little townhome with 2 stories, brick outside and 2.5 baths. Amazing.

I am very psyched that I will be going to Laguna Beach, Florida in May for an RUF conference.

Mark graduates in 2.5 weeks. Woohoo!

Matt is leaving The Soderquist Center. Sad day.

Oh, by the way, I have a full-time gig at The Soderquist Center as their first designer. It is most often a roller coaster, but I love the work I do and am growing a ton.

I have a new little niece. Name: Mariana (not pronounced Mary-Anna, but a long "a" on both the "Mari" and the "ana") Perhaps that makes sense. She is adorable. Recent pictures of Maggie and Mariana are on my photo site (link on sidebar on right).

I am loving life outside of school. Lots of decisions and working. But I love it. Why didn't I do this earlier?

Thursday, September 21, 2006

my new place

sorry for the lack of posting. Intermittant access to internet at my apartment has made the essential internet things come to the top of my priorities. I will post news in the very near future; but for now, pictures of my apartment!

Uptown girls apartment

It is a wonderful place.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

A great weekend. Mark came up from Branson. Friday night we went to an artwalk with Sean, Nicole, and a friend of Nicole's. It was in downtown KC. Not much what I would consider to be great art, but a couple interesting exhibits. Also, there were these cool street performers playing with fire and eating fire and breathing fire… quite astounding! Pictures here.

Apparently I sprained the cartiledge in my chest this weekend too. Painful. Unexplainable. And really weird.

Saturday, I gave my first haircut.

first haircut I've ever given

I was quite nervous, but it was rather fun and it came out well I think. Mark is happy with it. Yay!

Shopping at cargolargo! A most brilliant store. Incredible bargains!

Dinner date with Mark on Saturday night. New restaurant called Houlihans. Good food.

Sunday, my new church. Great sermon about holiness and love of the brethren from 1 Peter 1.

Lunch with my folks and Mark at Wabash BBQ. Simply delicious. I love bbq!

Church again (a new perspective on Psalm 139)and back to the count til school starts.

I really like weekends sometimes. Only one more.

Monday, July 31, 2006

yesterday, a happy day

Happy birthday to my darling niece Maggie! She turned 2 yesterday. (I did remember yesterday like the good aunt I am.)

darling Maggie

New pictures soon I'm sure.

Friday, July 28, 2006

a delectable find

store window sign

During a short trip to Branson as a surprise to Mark, I stumbled across this beauty on a store window. The words are a bit confusing; yet, the lettering was perfect and so ornate. The colors rich and well treated. Oh! It was a beautiful thing to behold. Why don't we do things as this anymore? Makes me want to open a shop just so my signs can be artistic elegance such as this. Who wouldn't buy from a store that displayed its identity (even a gun buying existence) in such a dignified manner?

Friday, July 21, 2006

how did I stumble on the coolest design studio?

hello faithful few who check my very sporadic posts.

My job at the River City Studio turned out to be a longer venture and a very time consuming project. This will be the end of my second week and I've been told they want me around for at least another week or two. I'm thrilled. It's almost too bad I have to go back to JBU middle of August. This place is incredible. It is situated on the second floor of a building at the edge of downtown KC. It is right on the river, hence the name, and just down the street from the River Market. I have yet to venture there, but I plan on it (today decided to rain cats and dogs). Speaking of cats, there are two cats which live in the Studio: Yoda and Melia. My dislike for cats has decreased greatly while working here. They really are rather cute and funny and sometimes just plain darling. Unfortunately, I am allergic to cats so they cause me some discomfort through the day. I think I've finally figured out the right amount and mixture of allergy meds so my days have become more tolerable. I'm determined to work here as long as they want me and no cats are going to deter that. Yoda is a tabby cat and he can be quite feisty some days. Melia however is gentle, fat and meows a lot. I'm on lunch break and she is right now, sitting on my desk, in between my arms as I type, determined to get some attention. They shed like crazy! All my clothes are covered with hair when I leave at the end of the day.

The studio itself is awesome. It's a really old building with creaky wood floors and and open ceiling so you can see all the wire work, tubes, and planks. There aren't any enclosed offices but lots of cubicles in a pretty unorganized fashion. The cubicles are all different shapes with different cuts on the top and the walls are all different bright colors and have segments of frosted glass cubes in them so if you look at them as a whole, they resemble an artistic rendition of a cityscape. There are two areas of lobby-like places with small rolling armchairs and weirdly shaped tables. Also, the "conference room" is near the front of the office and is just a stretch across the room of several tables put together with rolling office chairs around them. It is "separated" by a couple cubicles on two sides. Also, all the cubicles have white erase boards and gray cork randomly put in them so they blend in to the area but there is a place to put stuff and write notes. Other features are a kitchen area which has 2 microwaves, a fridge, counterspace, sink, mini-coke machine, and a tall table with stools around it. The other major feature is the lighting. There was an article about them online and the architect dude who did the lighting I think. Find it here. The atmosphere of this place is really creative and edgy.

On a minor note, I have yet to do any design work, and probably won't. They hired me as the intern for one specific project and so far I've worked on that which is a massive web research job (compiling over 530 hyperlinks with descriptions) and I've scanned over 200 old WWI photos at the Liberty Memorial. I've enjoyed listening in on meetings, watching the main designer and the web people battle their deadlined projects, as well as just be in contact with professional designers every day. One of my favorite quick jobs was filing a pile of their copies of projects they've done. It was so exciting to look through them, get a better feel for the work they actually do and what they can put out. I also answer phones a lot, which I rather enjoy amazingly enough. The work of an intern sure can be tedious and boring, but wow! the experience of being a part of this studio is absolutely worth it.

I really love design. And I'm really going to miss this studio.

Monday, July 10, 2006

a little time to chill

Well the weddings went off fairly smoothly I think. A little stressful in preparation and setting up, but all in all, lovely.

Favorite Amy & Dani weddings moments:
•getting Amy ready in the hotel room. (Actually, it was more like watching Amy get ready for me as Dani did her hair and Amy did her own makeup and I just took pictures)
•taking off my shoes at Amy's reception
•hanging out with Erin and taking a hot walk with her around a block or two.
•wearing a fun red dress
•hanging out with Mark, Noah, Cade & Marcia (it was so great to see C & M although somewhat strange that they are married!)
•staying in a hotel with Emily & Erin and playing cards til 1am with Nathaniel & Sam
•seeing the Jernigan family in action once again and feeling warmly loved by them, especially Hannah & darling Glory
•crying through all of Dani's wedding (perhaps not a favorite moment but definitely memorable)
•laying around & talking with Dani the night before Amy's wedding
•becoming a pro at making corsages & bouquets
•being with friends and laughing a lot

Pictures of Luke & Amy's wedding are here. and Israel & Dani's wedding pics will be up there soon too.

In other news, the interview went rotten. I don't think he wanted to be there interviewing and he waited til I was there and talking with him to tell me that there aren't any job openings with them. I'm not sure why he wanted to interview me when there isn't anywhere for him to put me. He also seemed rather multi-taskish during the whole "interview," taking a phone call and acting bored a few times although he ended up doing most of the talking. Well, I'm sure I learned something anyway and the experience will be handy sometime in my life.

In better news, I have a very short-term job starting tomorrow morning at 9. The company is River City Studio and I'm doing a small research project involving a website. Sounds pretty simple, but possibly time-consuming. Honestly, I'm just excited to be doing something out of the house and to be able to meet and work with some designers on their turf. Who cares what I'm doing! It should hopefully be a great experience and I'll at least make a new friend/contact in the design world.

Also, I have discovered a really cool church. It is called Northland Reformed Church and they are about 5 minutes from my house. I stumbled across them while coming back from taking Erin to the airport. They are a small congregation—probably about 50-60 people—but they are really genuine and kind. I really enjoyed the service Sunday morning and found a great deal in the sermon that I couldn't stop thinking about during the day. I also met some very nice folks who talked with me about different topics, most especially what brought me to a Reformed church. I really like that their questions were very geared towards faith and not normal small talk/being friendly jargon. My dad and I also went back last night and he was greatly impressed by them too. The pastor even followed us to the lobby, remembered my name and kept a good conversation with my dad. It is so strange how these things happen when the summer is almost over. A job and a great church all in one week. As always, God is faithful and always in his own time. Wahoo!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

more more more

Wow, these past few weeks went so fast. Recap:
Not much going on. Enjoyed being with my family and hanging out with beloved Nicole for hours a week. Chatted and chilled with Luke, Ryan, & Allison quite a bit and had a couple great cups of coffee (one with Amy and one with Galina). Also had an intense doctor check-up. I've been having weird heart episodes lately, something that is irritated randomly by caffeine (randomly I say because it isn't always and sometimes isn't related to it at all.) So, got an x-ray, an EKG, and had several things of blood taken. [apparently my body doesn't react really well to that. Almost passed out and definitely started dry heaving. Mmm… lovely experience.]

Last weekend was Julia's wedding. Very delightful. Pictures here.
Hooray for Julia!

Now I'm off for Siloam Springs. Amy and Luke get married on Saturday and Dani and Israel on Monday. I feel like I've been packing for hours. Lots of pictures later I'm sure. I get to see Erin this weekend too. [And Mark!]

Also, tomorrow morning I have a job interview with an ad agency in Springdale. I'm greatly looking forward to it with a very nervous stomach. More about that soon too.

Now I must hit the road.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

who would have thought…

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful.
You show the world what culture really is.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

one down, three to go

Cade & Marcia's wedding: a beautiful event this past weekend in Dallas. My travelling companions were Noah, Michael Cureton, and Mark [all groomsmen]. The trip was marvelous: humorous, quick, and full of loud driving music.

Favorite moments:
1) Thursday night arriving late to the rehearsal dinner and then sprinting through the mall 2 minutes before it closed so they could try on their tuxes.
2) Cade & Marcia wrote and sang a song together in their wedding. It was sweet and humorous.
3) dancing at the reception
4) bowling Friday night after the wedding [and doing terribly!]
5) singing loudly to Beatles songs in the car

Pictures here

Sunday, May 28, 2006

so I'm a typography nerd

the most delightful department store sign ever

Recently ran across this specimen of typographic beauty. This gorgeous piece of work is humbly displayed above one of the entrances of the no-longer-elegant Sears store. Just walking under this window sign made me think of all those old movies with the perfect little department stores and the neatly dressed salesclerks in A-line skirts, and I suddenly wished I hadn't forgotten my little white gloves. Why did Sears ever change their logo?? The new version is so much more hideous now that I've seen the old one.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

time slowly going by

well, if we were going completely by my blog, it would seem that I either never left for break, or never came back. Neither of those are true. Break was great, very relaxing and full of movies and laying around. The last few weeks of school were fine as well. Fairly insane as always. I completed my portfolio and did the big show. It was actually very fun and I gained a lot more confidence because of it.

Now, I'm at home.

Time goes by very differently at home. I have 4 weddings to make it to this summer, and in between those, I'm really hoping for a job. Things aren't looking up at the moment for one. I've contacted so many companies and everyone really takes their time on getting back with me. The only high possibilities are ones where people I know found out I was interested and started talking about me. It is great to know people, I just hope something actually comes of it.

While I pass the times between e-mails and phone calls, I've been trying to clean my room. I have so much junk. One of the downsides of my family is that we all were taught to save things and be sentimental about them. My room is just full of stuff I really don't need and probably don't care much about. Realistically, I think this could be my last full summer at home and that kind of worries me as I do not want to do this cleaning out when I'm actually trying to move out. So, I'm at least brushing the surface now. I can't help but think what my room would be like if I lived in a different culture.

So, that is an update on my life. Seems pretty dull, but it is my life right now. I look forward to the weddings especially as I'll get to see some of my favorite people. Nicole comes home in 3 days. That is something to look forward to as well.

Oh, I also bought a cd yesterday, Sophie Milman. Really great recent jazz girl. Liking it, a lot.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

so much to do

spring break begins in about 27 hours. I can't wait.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

disposable plate schedules

today is a lovely day. the weather site told me it was going to rain today, but I still haven't run into any drops. I'm wearing green. I love that color. I like this day.

I have a lot to do this week. One professor of two of my classes is gone and I'm sure that was intended to give me more time, but somehow I have more to do than time for it all. I was thinking back to elementary school days when I used to take a disposable plate and section off time in the day. I used to color different sections and write what those times would be used for. I was always really good about giving breaks especially if I got something done before that time slot was up. I began my organizational skills early in life.

That was back in the days when I made my sister's bed for her too… for fun.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

catch up time

Hard to believe I haven't updated since New Year's. Sometimes I just get so busy, and other times, I just don't really care to sit down and think of what I would like to say. I should though. So I will now.

The past month and a half or so have been very up and down. Biggest highlights would be that I'm working on my portfolio this semester and in the process of applying to 2 companies for possible design internships this summer. I've been really dragging my heels on actually applying—waiting for all kinds of encouragents and go-aheads from stable people in my life. Truth probably is that I'm scared to actually finish the applying process. Such a vunerable position to put my stuff out there and ask for someone to give me a chance.

Another highlight is that I get to talk to my sister every week via skype, which if you haven't discovered this service, you might want to. That has been a great blessing as I miss her input in my life and just hearing her voice sometimes is comforting. We've tended to talk about silly things lately, rather than do the catch up "how's this and that." I miss coffee dates with her and watching Saved by the Bell reruns and laying on her big double bed with a heating blanket to talk about what's coming for us in life.

Another very exciting thing that happened this month was that I got to see my great supervisor from Spain, Kristin. She popped into KC for over a week and I went to meet her for a couple days. It was wonderful. We had a marathon of Caryn and Kristin time, hitting up Borders twice and drinking several cups of coffee while diving into deep conversation about missions, design, God's will, etc…. It was a great blessing to see her and hug her. God is very faithful with the people He brings in and out of my life. I look forward to the next time Kristin pops in.

Thinking of God's faithfulness brings to mind the sad event that has changed the past couple weeks of my life. I wasn't sure if I wanted to write of this, but it is a part of my life and more than anything do I want to share how incredibly merciful and faithful God really is. I very often forget that and I very often don't mention it much for silly fear of sounding fanatical and super-religious about God. I'm working on that fear and trying to learn this realness that I so desire to come out in my speech. This event that I'm talking around is the passing away of my grandmother. She died February 6, almost 2 days after I came back from KC. Although my family knew it was coming, it was quite a blow to me. I was so blessed to randomly stop in and see her on that Friday that I went home to see Kristin. I spent a little over an hour talking with her and telling stories from school and listening to my Grandpa's preaching stories. That last time with her was so precious. I didn't like to admit it then, but on the drive back to school, I knew that was the last time. She had kissed me with a look in her eyes that said farewell. Sounds incredibly made up and fanciful I'm sure, but I know what I saw and what I felt and that's all the really matters to me. Sparing all the rest of the details of this, that week was tough and I began to learn to grieve. For closure and to be there for my family, I flew home on Sunday and attended the funeral and dinner on Monday then came back Tuesday. It was quick, but it did me in. I've been exhausted all week. I'm very thankful for that time though. I got to see all my aunts and uncles on that side (7 and their spouses) and I was able to see some of my cousins whom I hadn't seen in years. Our family is huge and some of us are closer than others geographically and relationally. I'm sure anyone who comprehends the entire paragraph that they are reading is wondering how this relates to God's faithfulness. Well, for the past 6 months, my Nana has gotten increasingly worse in her lung disease. My family has been praying that God would take her quickly. She has always hated doctors and more than anything would hate being put in a hospital or a home. My Grandpa also wished to see her go peacefully as the pain was so great for her and his heart to watch her die. I remember on the drive back to school praying through tears that God would be merciful and take her immediately. I've never prayed something like that before, but it was answered a day and a half later. She went peacefully while my Grandpa prayed with her.

I've never felt like God needed to do something to show Himself faithful, but when I needed it to be vibrant before me, He was. Now I'm playing catch up with all my classes and homework as well as becoming addicted to naps. I've succeeded in taking 2 naps every day since I got back. I guess I'm just recovering from emotional whatever this is. Sleeping is good however. I'm going to close this now, since it has become immensely long. It's my fault for not writing in so long. So, until next post…

Sunday, January 01, 2006

happy happy new year

I can't believe it is January 1, a new year. This is 2006, the year I will be graduating. At least near the end of it I will. I feel like I should make some resolutions; but none have come to mind. Perhaps later, now… pizza!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

unbelievable

I was catching up on a friend's blog and stumbled upon his newest post that mentioned an interesting article about churches as businesses, Jesus, CEO. Is this what we are becoming? I don't understand where we get the idea that this is what church is. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I have old-fashioned ideas about church. Maybe Christians are supposed to be focused on reaching everyone else and put worshiping God as a low priority. Maybe Christians are supposed to get burnt out and not understand their source. Maybe Christians are supposed to think they have the power and ability to "save" people. Maybe Christians aren't supposed to grow and become more like Christ.

If this is what Christianity is about, what church is; then I'm out.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

another song rings true

"I'll Be Home For Christmas" was resounding through my head as I drove the familiar four and a half hours to my house. The trip was pretty smooth. A wopping three hours of sleep the night before kept me pouring cappuccino and Mountain Dew into my tired body. I hit snow a little outside KC and it was beautiful. It stayed small until I pulled into the driveway, then the huge flakes fell. We got two inches of snow during the day and four more that night. I of course was sleeping most of the time. Snow is wonderful when you can be inside under a couple of blankets and watching delightful old movies.

So now I'm home. I've slept an immense amount, had doctor and dentist appointments, and shopping quite a bit. I've never really enjoyed shopping; but there is something wonderful about wandering around the stores, especially around the holidays. The new styles are fun to experience and people are marvelous. There are wild little kids running around, often getting hollared at; and a plethora of people spending an exorbitant amount of money that they really don't have on stuff they really don't need. Personally, I enjoy saying "Merry Christmas!" whether its politically correct or not.

Today is another relaxed day. I'll probably knit some more, something I've done in large amounts lately. I may run to some cute little stores too and try to finish off my Christmas shopping. I love the holidays! I love breaks!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

church?

I feel rebellious.

I grew up with a great love for the physical church. Sundays, Wednesdays, extra activities - I was always there. I always considered it a blessing that somehow I never despised church, that my parents didn't have to drag me out of bed to go every Sunday at 8am. I was one of the church-going, naive-and-loving-it, sold out Christians. And homeschooled too. Church was where I felt alive, loved, needed for ministry.

I'm not very fond of church anymore.

My heart is breaking for the churches of America. I just spent a good 20 minutes fascinatedly reading a church marketing website. I enjoy this website. I've loved some of the thoughts and ideas they've observed or created. Tonight, I came away sad. I was buying it. I was swallowing all of the church jargon, the "just be the church you are" slogans. Some places are being encouraged to use the "Dove" real beauty campaign for ways to represent the real people that are able to connect in the community. There isn't anything wrong with being real people and connecting with the community; but I'm confused about "church marketing."

Perhaps I'm sentimental and I like the sometimes old-fashioned feel of going to church. I used to love the idea of the new contemporary songs, youth group activities, and expensive church banners that build the "identity" of the church. Now, I can't stand in a service and sing a song that on many levels insults my intelligence and the depth of my relationship with Christ. I'm frustrated with evangelistic messages that are desensitizing me to the reality of the gospel. When did church become an evangelistic building? Where am I supposed to go as a Christian to be challenged and convicted beyond a daily talk with God? I've decided I definitely don't agree with modernizing the church or keeping up with the times. For once I don't want something that is constantly changing and trying to stay relevant. I question the integrity of something that tries to keep convincing me of its relevance.

Look nice. Be well-designed. I encourage and hope for that. But "keep the faith" for lack of a less-trite phrase. Open the Bible and speak from "its diaphragm."

[end of soapbox thoughts]

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

it all came back to me

I received an e-mail today from Avant Ministries - just their normal update; but upon browsing it, I discovered an article that surprised me. I almost forgot I wrote that. It was funny, rereading my thoughts. All these memories came flooding in. Smells, laughs, food, conversations, museums, streets, even movies that I filled time with. A part of me misses it. A part of me can't believe I was even there. Time goes by quickly. I wish I could say I've done something spectacular in the time since then, but have I?

Friday, November 04, 2005

fall and projects [not fallen projects]

Northwest Arkansas is absolutely beautiful this time of year. I love it. The trees boast brilliant colors, the air smells fresh and change-filled, and all the holidays are sneaking up. I picked up the November issue of Real Simple last night, my subscription doesn't start til January, and found it packed with suggestions on keeping the holidays stress-free. My head was overwhelmed with memories as I read about women's different methods of "doing the holidays." My own traditions/ or what I want to be traditions are starting to form in my head. It's a lovely, and somewhat scary thought to think of having my own way to celebrate.

Last weekend, Mark and I carved pumpkins. This was my first time and it was delightful. From scooping out the pumpkin guts to finally lighting a candle inside, it was a marvelous time. They have been sitting outside my townhouse for almost a week now and somehow their now-decaying form is a little comforting to me. Things change; I like that. We took pictures of them of course; but the memory of doing them will be impressed on me forever. My first time carving pumpkins.

Tonight I'm skipping our annual Toilet Paper first basketball game and going to a bonfire. I'm a little shocked at my decision as I've had a record of making it to almost all the home games, nevermind the first game. But somehow, this year I would much rather sit around a bonfire and cook smore's with new friends rather than be smooshed in a loud croud waiting to throw a roll of toilet paper at the first JBU basket. Hopefully I won't regret it; but right now I'm looking forward to relaxing. Isn't it funny how even values change.

I started this post thinking I would write something logical and profound about the season and the projects that start to pile up because of it; but instead, I find comfort in the happenings of fall that I get to be a part of. I'd much rather think of those on the beginning of a Friday night than on the looming design problems. Yes, things change, and I'm glad.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

applicable

My August 11 post was about "living the question." My head is stuffed with questions. My heart is overwhelmed. A good overwhelmed I guess but I've suddenly been thrown into my quiet, pondering state - a state that has been misunderstood by many people in the past. Thoughts are flowing about church, internships, design, ministry, friendships and learning to grow up. The Toys R Us theme song keeps popping into my head: "I don't want to grow up…" The truth is though, I do. I'm just nervous. There are trivial decisions that I need to make that as I attempt to make them, they aren't so trivial anymore. Slight clarification: I'm not struggling with the big "what's God's will" question. Just thinking and trying to make wise choices within my realm of available pursuits. A wise woman once disclosed an idea to me that God's will isn't some narrow path I have to discover and stick to amidst whatever hits. Instead His will is nearly impossible for me to escape from. I'm in it, for good. I don't have the full implications of those thoughts in hand yet; but I appreciate the relief of pressure that view brings. I'm free in His grace-filled will to seek Him in all that I do. Another wise woman has always encouraged me to decipher the good, better, and best sections of a decision and determine which I want to be in. So, here I am, seeking the best. Rereading those thoughts I feel a bit preachy. But they are true, and what I was thinking, so no soap box attached.

I'm ready for Thanksgiving. No good reason, but I'm ready for it. The leaves have begun their change of color. I picked up 2 yesterday on my way to a workshop and they are sitting on my desk slowly wilting and becoming a kaleidoscope of color as I hurried along the process by picking them. How strange it is that to die they must become a more brilliant color than before. There could be a metaphor for Christian life there, but I don't feel like analyzing it. The weather is being temperamental and I hope to some morning convince it as I walk to class to stay at about 50-60 for a longer period of time than a couple hours or while I'm asleep. I love my fall clothes and I'm ready to wear them again instead of just looking forward to it. It's silly the things I become attached to and excited about. A girl mentioned tonight that apparently we will have a rough winter because some scientists have seen the squirrels collecting a larger portion of nuts. I wonder if these squirrels really have inside information or maybe they are just feeling extra gluttonous this year. Who watches squirrels anyway?

I've entered the rambling state. These are the times that I feel a blog could be a dangerous thing, but it is lovely to think with my fingers for a while and allow my mind an outlet. Perhaps later I shall post about Art History. I've been thinking some delightful thoughts in that class and they might just be worthy of a post all to themselves. Just maybe.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

thought kinks

It's the middle of October. I'm sitting in my room, feeling the light breeze of fall through the open window, sipping a CF Mountain Dew and listening to the new Jamie Cullum cd. I have quite a lot of homework to do, but my mind is reflective. There have been some small kinks in life, but overall it has been good. This week was mid-terms. I go back and forth between being really ready to graduate and move on and just enjoying college life. I know this is the only time in life where all my friends, besides Nicole and Erin, will be within 10 minutes of me and I'll see them all pratically every day. I'm enjoying my design classes, but I don't feel that they are going very well. I'm feeling less and less like a good designer and this really bothers me as I really want to be a designer. But, I don't want to be a mediocre designer. I want to be good. Not for the money and not for any popularity. I love designing. I love type. I love playing with macs. I desire to be able to design pleasing, aesthetically delightful things that most people will enjoy looking at but never know why. I've heard many times that I don't have to settle in one profession, and that I probably won't; but what if I want to. I'm open to options, but this is where I click. This is what gets my pulse going. I want to design.

Friday, September 16, 2005

September

There's something about September that just makes me happy. I love the weather of September. Today it is lovely. A cool, brisk breeze which requests wonderfully warmer fall clothing. I love my fall wardrobe. The leaves start to change in September, usually. September is when most elementary schools start for the year and all the school supplies are blissfully on sale. The summer is finally at a close and the real feeling of school has kicked in. This last one might not be the happiest, but it does feel good to be in a schedule, thinking of fall holidays and fall smells. I do enjoy schedules. One of my housemates walked in while I was eating a delightful bowl of soup and grilled cheese sandwhich and she exclaimed that the weather was lovely. I smiled and replied that I do so love September. She leaned against the door and breathed "September" and said, "It does have a romantic sound to it."

I feel sentimental in September. It has always been my favorite month. My birthday falls at the end of it, which brings to mind my childhood memories of birthday anticipations, parties, and celebration with my grandparents. Those are lovely memories. September is filled with thoughts of warm soup, playing in the leaves, school supplies gallore, apple cider, and many other silly sentimental ponderings.

I feel like watching "You've Got Mail" today. With 2 more classes to go though, I'll have to wait. Perhaps I'll make a cup of tea, listen to the soundtrack and prepare for my next class. September. It makes me breathe deeper.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

sometimes I just don't feel good.

I woke up at 6 this morning blowing my nose repeatedly. At 6:30 I decided to take action. Medicine certainly is a blessing. When my alarm actually went off at 8, my body refused to move for the medicine had taken over. Allergies. I don't understand them, I don't want them, and it makes me sad to suffer through some pretty seasons. I wish I could smile when I see someone mowing their lawn, or watch the flowers in bloom and the dew on the grass. No, I cannot smile at it for my body grimaces in the knowledge that my nose will only run more. Some people find allergy ridden people cute. Imagine that, being cute because your nose is slightly red and you sniffle every so often. I'm glad it is amusing to some.

Senior. This word is mysterious to me. Not the Spanish term for Mr. but the word that means I've been through way too many years of education and I'm supposed to be one of the most knowledgeable people on campus with the least amount of time or desire to spend with large amounts of unknown people. The last is definitely true. I find freshmen cute and immature, but having to spend large quantities of time with anyone, except those I've been bonding with for a while, just exhausts me. I feel a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. The knowledge of future plans needing to be made continues to sink in and threatens to suffocate me. I would much rather fly by the seat of my pants except for the gnawing feeling in my stomach that says it would be much more relaxed if I would make a few plans.

Life is good. I have great friends, somewhat healthy living habits and for the first time in my college career, I've actually learned how to get my homework done before midnight the day before. Amazing.

I really want a nap.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

live the question

Wednesday, I shared my adventure in Spain with the staff at Avant. It was an interesting time sitting in a board room with faces all around; some new faces, some I've seen since I was 10 months old. I shared all the good parts of Spain, what I miss, what I learned, what I saw. I told of the question I've been trying to answer about what I can do as a simple graphic designer on the mission field. Afterward, I talked to the new writer/editor at Avant who wants me to write an article for the Avant newspaper. We discussed this question, and he told me something very intriguing to me. Live the question. I believe he said it is from a poem that reflects on how the answer often isn't the important part, but the question itself. Live the question.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

5 days

The countdown continues on. Sunday I will be back at school, unpacking, preparing for orientation and chatting away with my dear friends. I cannot wait! I have so much to do but I'm very much in denial that I need to do anything. Yesterday, I bought a pair of jeans.

Sunday was a good day. My first English sermon in a while. It was strange for me to walk into a room and be greeted by people with hugs and handshakes and not the typical Spanish kiss on both cheeks. I never liked that but I guess I became accustomed to it a bit. The sermon was decent, and I enjoyed it very much simply because I could understand it all. The music time was wonderful. It felt so good to sing in my language again. The air conditioning about did me in. It is a great thing, but after not being used to it, I nearly froze sitting in church.

Our Sunday night service continues to stick in my mind. Our church sent a team to China to teach English in a school for 3 weeks. The team gave testimonies and told stories in the service. It was incredible for me to hear how God worked through each of their crazy circumstances and used them to humbly teach English to some strangers, but be able to share Christ through it all. My highschool friend Anthony went as well. He was stoked about it, which was very exciting to me as I've never seen him jump at overseas ministry before. He gave a testimony about how he realized that God is the same God whether he is worshipped in the U.S. or in hidden parts of Asia. That was a simple, yet powerful thought for me. I've been thinking a lot about how easy it is to fall back into desensitized, self-centered mode as I'm home and trying to get ready for school again. The same God I felt closer to in Spain, the one who made my lonely times not suffocating, the one who helped me finish projects and ask questions and talk, is the exact same God I know here in the U.S. It isn't possible for our culture to limit his moving ability, I've just got to tap into it here and now. That's incredible to me.

I'm going to go warm-up a blueberry bagel and see how I can change the world by packing.

Friday, August 05, 2005

it's raining in Kansas City

I'm home hoorah! I made it safely in last night at 3:30 and was able to stay up til 11, which was a huge accomplishment. I attempted a phone conversation before I went to bed though and that wasn't the best of ideas as I could barely focus on anything. I've never almost fallen asleep on the phone before. It was humorous.

On the plane from London to Chicago yesterday morning, I sat by a girl who is my age and had just completed a journalism internship in London. She was there for 2 months and she is from St. Louis, MO. Strange right? Well, it gets even more bizarre. She was in Barcelona for a couple days right before I got there. She saw all the Gaudi stuff and she got her purse stolen. It was like talking to someone almost just like me. I'm so thankful that that didn't happen to me. Her story was even more complicated. She was on the tubes the day the bombing happened, only a couple miles from that station. She was evacuated from the tubes. After our flight, we went through the Chicago airport together, customs and parted as we rushed to our gates. It was really nice to hang out with someone and we talked about Barcelona a lot.

The only other exciting thing that happened after that is that I nearly killed myself getting on the train from the international terminal to the departure terminal. I saw it getting ready to leave and leaped through the door. Everyone in that car, gasped and a couple people laughed. I made it though and had plenty of time at my gate in which I bought the magazine Real Simple and ate a McDonald's cheeseburger and fries. Quite an exciting trip.

Now, I should get myself going. It is no-tax weekend in Missouri. Wahoo! School supplies, here I come.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

up, up, and away

In 45 minutes, I'll be at the airport for the long journey home. Did I blink?

Monday, August 01, 2005

a bit of what's swirling around in me

I'm just continuing to put off the Barcelona update, so I'm thinking it probably won't come at all. Interested readers are going to have to suffice with the account of Monday unless I decide to write about it in the future. However, exciting news, my Barcelona photos are now up on my flickr site. I was looking through them last night as I put them all in their set and realized that I doubt many people will be excited about some of them as I was. It makes sense as I was taking the pictures that I would take shots of things that fascinated me, so I'm curious as to what must go through others minds while they look through my photos. I love them however and get extremely excited when I browse them.

Two nights left. Wednesday afternoon at 2:20 Spain time, I will be on my way to London. I still haven't figured out what I want to do in London during my night there. I was ecstatic about seeing the Design Museum again only to find that it will most probably be closed by the time I could get to it. So, I find myself browsing the internet for ideas of my night in that city I love so much. I'm anxious to get home. I very much dislike this waiting time. I feel like my innards are twisting every which way. Goodbyes and I are not good companions. I was thinking this afternoon how much I dislike closing a chapter of my life. I never feel that way when I'm reading a book. I'm always very excited to hit a new chapter, taking in its title and wondering what things will enfold in its parts that make it worthy of a whole new section. I should be viewing my life like that, I guess; and yet, I don't recall reading a book where a chapter ends and the character leaves behind a lot of other characters who were so important for those few pages, but will fade into the long list of people from other times. Its inevitable I guess, the people who have become very dear to my heart and shaped each day I spent in Spain are suddenly going to vanish from my days despite a few e-mails here and there, that probably won't last very long. Those who have kept with my blog for a while are probably thinking, "Gee, she's really bipolar with this pining for home sometimes and now sulking that she is leaving." I assure everyone, including myself, that I'm not. I never really pined for home - yes, there were nights were I dreaded my house and nearly panicked at the prospect of more time alone - but those were a very small ratio in the whole of my time here. And I'm not sulking about leaving, not a bit. I'm very ready to clean my house, pack my suitcase and sleep with my pillow at home in KC. People are just so hard to leave.

Almost completely unrelated topic now. I'm reading this book called "Letters to Karen" which I was drawn to simply because it is practically my name. I felt very silly about this, since that isn't how I spell my name, but saying it and allowing myself to think that this book is particularly written to me by some misguided person who just hasn't figured out my name - the book got me. It is a lovely book. It is a compilation of letters from a minister to his daughter a couple months before she got married. (Don't anyone jump on that one for I will gladly knock any notions from anyone's heads that that is a far thing from my desires right now!) But this book is full of thoughts of what marriage really is, what love really is and the not so fairy-tale life that is. I have found it very interesting as I've been searching a lot this summer in Spain for whom I'm supposed to be as a woman. I've been afraid of that in the past, but through wonderful people like my dear Dani and Tracy B. I've become courageous about it. "Let Me Be a Woman" by Elisabeth Elliot furthered my ponderings this past semester and now I'm just enjoying gathering thoughts and hints about what a mystery life really is.

With all that seemingly mushy nonsense written, I must say that I'm also reading "The Pilgrim's Regress" right now and greatly enjoying the philosophical battles I've encountered there. Somehow relating that I'm not just dreaming about being a girl makes me feel better. Perhaps I'm not as courageous as I thought.

I'm off to concoct some sort of dinner for myself. Sometimes rambling really soothes me. Tonight is a You've Got Mail night, I can feel it. Packing first, of course.

Friday, July 29, 2005

wahoo!

Barcelona = amazing!
My 3 days of travel were incredible. I don't have a great inclination to sit here and write all the amazing parts down at once; but, I see no better way to accomplish the task of relating such wonderful things. Perhaps a couple of short lists for each day will suffice for now.

Monday:
• in the airplane I sat behind, across from and next to couples who all decided to be a little overly touchy and mushy in the duration of the flight.
• had lunch at Starbucks in Barcelona - lunch here means a bread-pastry thing with cheese and sauce with a caramel frappuccino… mmmm Starbucks goodness.
• wandered the main tourist walkway called Las Ramblas and saw things such as: (oh yes, I'm going to put a list inside a list)
> very creative street performers
> massive stock of little birds in cages chirping loudly
> tons of people
> the Columbus tower/statue with really cool lion statues at his feet
> the port
• found a fantastic store called Mango where I purchased a skirt, tank top, and lightweight/longsleeved shirt for very cheap prices
• got lost when trying to get to the train station
• sat next to 2 Canadians on the 2 hour train ride and played the country game and the movie game. (is there a country that starts with O?)
• got off at the correct stop, found my hosts, ate Spanish tortilla and sat on their terrace which leans over the beach.

ok, that's all for now. this is too long, I need to work and I don't feel like writing more now, so if you are reading this, anticipate much more exciting stories from my adventure coming soon…

Sunday, July 24, 2005

a very uninteresting post I'm afraid

Tomorrow morning, I leave for Barcelona. This thought alone should have made me very excited but for some reason, I'm quite apathetic about everything today. I started throwing some things into my backpack for the trip and then remembered some things I needed from my office, so here I am, checking people's blogs, updating my own and wondering about the next 10 days. That's right, 10 days left in Spain. It is amazing how 63 days sounded so long when I got here and now I'm looking back and wondering where they all went.

The last couple days have been decent. Had a lot of difficulties at work and became quite overwhelmed and frustrated. Things have smoothed over and I'm to the point now, where I cannot do much about any of it anyway. Friday I received a marvelous package full of new music to entertain myself with, a dvd I'm looking forward to chilling to, a ton of Welch's fruit snacks, and some mini Sharpies. It was a glorious day and I smiled a lot. It feels good to get something in the mail, especially when you are so far away from what you think of normal life.

Saturday, I spent the whole day at the beach. My neighbor took Natalie, me and Kristin to a nice beach and we all soaked in the sun and felt the gloriousness of the cool Mediterranean. I was very leary of the water since I have never had a good experience in ocean-like places, but it was quite fun and I relaxed. Hooray! finally a good experience to put into memory. Today, I'm suffering a bit. I discovered soon after leaving the beach that not only did I not put on enough sunscreen, but I also did a bad job of where I put it. I'm not in the lobster category, but there are several parts of me that are hurting. Cold showers are a blessing and Kristin's lovely idea about keeping lotion in the fridge was heavenly this morning.

So now, I sit and ponder what to take with me to Barcelona and am slowly feeling the excitement mixed with nervousness come in. Yes, it will be fun, and an adventure I look forward to being able to look back on. And crazy to think, but I'll have 6 days left when I get back to Malaga…

Off to Barcelona I go.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

a list because I have a headache

significant happenings or thoughts to post about:
• brochure is moving along quickly
• watched "Lagaan" movie with neighbors - musical about India, a cricket game and sappy romance. quite good actually
• cool breeze and loss of sarcastic tone
• working late
• Mountain Dew
• watching "The Trail of the Pink Panther" and thinking it was rather dumb
• collaging with little Natalie
• an Orbit advertisement which made me laugh
• groceries to fill my fridge
• successful market trip - purchases of fruit, skirt, earrings, and bag for Barcelona adventure
• 4 days til Barcelona trip
• prospect of a hike
• e-mails
• tragic bunny story from Erin
• 20 minute nap
• reviving of friendship with highschool friend
• upcoming girl's night at Bethany's
• this day is almost over

Monday, July 18, 2005

another Monday

I'm wearing my hair in pigtails today and it makes me feel cute. I don't know if I like feeling cute, but I guess it is better than feeling grungy or so-so. It certainly keeps me cooler. My day hasn't been half bad despite its horrid start - horrid simply because it is Monday - and the heat is a little discouraging. It has succeeded in reaching almost 110 degrees for 3 days in a row. There is a breeze, a sticky hot breeze that makes one very sarcastic and say such things as, "oh, what a lovely breeze!" My arms are sticking to the edge of the desk as I type. Such an odd feeling!

Last night, I made eggs in toast and watched 2 Veggie Tale movies with Natalie. We discovered a little lizard crawling along my wall and I dubbed him Nelson. I'm very fond of him already and was disappointed this morning when I searched for him to no avail. He is my hero as his appetite is drawn to spiders and mosquitoes, 2 things that are rampant at my casita.

My thoughts keep wandering today to things such as counting days, reminiscing of air conditioned bedrooms and McDonald's vanilla milkshakes, planning the many ways I'm going to hug all the people I am missing terribly, which songs I want to dance to with Amy, and the kinds of things I want to stay up for hours discussing with Dani. I opened my bottom dresser drawer last night and spotted a long lost friend, my cell phone. I had been growing tired of being attached to it, but now, I miss the idea of it actually ringing and familiar voices being on the other end. In one week, I will be in Barcelona. In 2 weeks, I will be packing and beginning goodbyes to my coworkers. Time flies and at this point I can't decide if I want to blow at it and make it go faster or just relax in its wake. I just used two very strange descriptions that somewhat clash together. Perhaps that is a sign to get back to work.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Hello, my name is Caryn and I'm a caffeine addict.

I've taken to drinking caffeine again. I have a good start of excuses: I've been keeping such odd hours here and almost everyone at MMC drinks a mug of coffee for prayer time. Of course, I could pour a cup of decaf if I thought about it. Also, I don't have to drink the cans of Mountain Dew that a lovely friend here found for me at a store. I really don't have to drink so much iced coffee with my neighbors either. I'm weak. I admit it. I knew it was a fact this morning when I woke up an hour later than normal and felt like my head was going to explode because my normal cup of coffee wasn't already down my throat. I resisted this morning, but broke quickly after church and had a huge glass of iced coffee. My head is still throbbing, many hours later and I keep thinking about the relief it would be to open my fridge and tap into a cold can of MD that is waiting for me. Here we go again…

Friday, July 15, 2005

friday

My head was very full of thoughts and this kept me awake. I sat up late, "The Pink Panther" playing quietly next to me for the second time in 2 days, and dealt yet again with the universe. There are many perplexing ideas that I can never quite get my mind around.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

…a very satisfied sigh

My blog had been experiencing some serious difficulties recently and this, is so much better. I apologize to anyone who feels I stole their design. I don't really care anymore plus this is so much more appealing to my eyes.

I doubt many people read this anymore, but it still is such a relaxing thing to write nonsense in a pseudo-journal with the possibilities of dear friends catching a glimpse of my thoughts and partaking in the moments.

The only thing on my mind recently is Barcelona. My excitement is very hard to contain. I've researched many things on the web and started a list of things I must, would like, and possibly will see. I will put the list here, simply because I want to and if any others would like to look them up, please enjoy the wonders you may see hidden in their sites.

• Park Guell
• Gaudi Musuem
• Sagrada Familia
• Palau de la Musica Catalana (missing a few accent marks which I cannot find on my keyboard)
• Salvador Dali Museum
• Tirandot opera at the Gran Teatre del Liceu
• jazz concert at Jamboree

that is all I've accumlated for now. As usual, I'm sure the list will dwindle with time, finances, and whatever shopping I stumble upon. There is also the fact that I must find all these places.

As for my time today, I'm writing text for the latest brochure I am working on. My time is squished on this project and I'm very worried that I will not finish it before I leave. Writing, I must admit, is not one of my favorite parts, although it is quite a challenge to accept. No choice to accept takes away some of the intrigue. Nonetheless, I embark on this pen and ink adventure and hope that my thoughts flow in a semblance of interesting order.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

wow, another one

whoa, i'm doing so much better at posting in this last week. too bad summer is almost over. actually, no, I'm getting ready to come home. I can't believe I leave 3 weeks from tomorrow. this is so nuts. how do the summers go by so quickly?

this weekend was lovely. I was so lazy. My neighbors and I laid around all day Saturday and then had a BBQ of sorts on our patio. It was chicken and beef kebabs that were simply amazing. Sunday, we went to church then I swam with little Natalie and then we all went to the beach where Natalie and I rollerbladed on the boardwalk. It was much fun. I haven't rollerbladed in so long. I ridiculously didn't wear good socks for it so I now have 2 lovely large scrapes on my ankles that the mosquitoes just love. Yesterday was a typical work day. I swam with Natalie over my siesta and then last night we had a Moroccan couscous dish with some guests who came. It was so fun and the conversation just flowed beautifully. This morning however, I could not wake up. When I finally did, I had given myself 10 minutes before I had to be at work for prayer time. Tonight, I am going shopping with my neighbors. It is time to start picking up my souvenirs. I found some lovely lace things that my mom will so appreciate and I'm looking for a thing or two as well. Great fun!

Oh, brilliant news, I'm going to Barcelona before I leave. I have planned a 3 day trip and even have somewhere to stay, for free! Now, I am booking flights, mapping out the city and determining which sites must be seen. Yay for Barcelona!

if you haven't seen or heard of them yet, look to the right and in my sidebar is a link to my photos which have my pics in Spain so far. Enjoy!

I miss you all and can't wait til August!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

a need to write

My heart is breaking for the people in London. I think a part of me was thinking that this kind of thing could only happen in the States. I know that the rest of the world, especially Europe, is probably more prepared for this kind of thing than we are, but I still wish I could protect everyone from more tragedy. I realized how sheltered I am even here in Spain. I was settled into my routine, bonding with my supervisor laughing over projects, and suddenly she glanced at the BBC News and we both found the world again. Silly, here I am working to reach out to the world, and I seem to have lost track of it around me. How naive I am! I find myself crying with those who are devastated and praying all the more earnestly for the Kingdom. I cringe that those words sound so airy and flat once they are not hidden in my heart. My thoughts are full.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

from my corner office, otherwise known as a workroom

well, my attempts at blogging have been futile. I seem to have hit an "I don't want to sit down and write" mode, which I am forcing myself to get over. Of course, my timing now is impeccable as I am at work, about 51 minutes til lunch. I'm finally ahead on most of my projects and just waiting for feedback before the next move can be made. On my hugest(I can't decided if that is a word or not) project, I am pushing deadlines and was struggling to ideate when I had the brilliant idea to blog instead. I shall now make a slight effort to catch up on posting about the life I am in the midst of. Some might be repetitive of what has been in my newsletters, but I'm too lazy to worry about that.

Spain is beautiful. Southern Spain, or Andalucia, is beautiful and hot. My spoiled American body is easily overheated in these marvelous tile buildings that lack air conditioning. I have not ventured much outside of my city of Malaga, and I probably won't because of time, companionship, and finances. I simply cannot justify taking much adventurous trips with the generous gifts of my supporters. But, if opportunity allows, I may swing over to a near city for a change of pace. My eye has been on Barcelona, which is way north, as that is supposed to be a really cool city with interesting art wrapped through it and there is a Jamie Cullum concert there next weekend; but flights are strangely expensive in this tourist-time of year as well as I really would rather not venture that far by myself. My awful Spanish would not hold out very well I'm afraid.

Work has been good and quite knowledge-stuffed for me. I have learned some crucial design tips that I think shall be so helpful in upcoming classes/projects. I love my coworkers and somewhat dread saying goodbye to each of them in just under a month. We pray together every morning(M-F) and I think that creates that tight bond between us all. My supervisor/coach and I haven't had much time to hang out, but working together has been great. There is much to glean from her wealth of design knowledge and surprisingly, I look forward to having her correct things as she is bound to find something I wouldn't have even thought of.

My little house, the Casita, is very cozy. Tends to be quite an oven in the middle of the day, but cools off nicely in the evenings. I have disposed of more spiders in that little house than in my entire life and I have recently given up on finding them all as they are sure to come out whenever they please. I was wonderfully comforted by a coworker's wife as she said she has had trouble with spiders as well, but that it is normal since it is hatching season. My overimaginative mind went wild at this thought and was very quickly picturing every corner and fold within the house just crawling with millions of eight-legged insects. Funny how I've never been scared of spiders before and could calmly dispose of them; but now I find myself shrieking after I've killed one and turn to find another. Counting my blessings though, I have only battled spiders and termites. I'm praying the cockroaches away.

Enough about bugs, more about Spain. I absolutely love wandering the streets of downtown. I think I finally have the knack of being just friendly enough with passers-by to not be rude, but still maintain the face that any little fortune-teller or begger should please leave me alone. 2 nights ago, the other single coworkers and I(the 3 of us and one of their fiances here on a visit) spent an hour or so in the huge air conditioned department store - much like London's Harrods - and then ate dinner in Antonio Banderas' restaurant. It was a delicious atmosphere and had a barnish/pub/cavern feeling that slightly reminded me of something from "The Mask of Zorro." I ate a very good pork kebab and discussed random things at our table while silently calculating the odds of Banderas actually walking in while we were there. He didn't, but it was a delightful evening nonetheless.

Possibly my other favorite part of Spain so far has been the quaint little town of Mijas. It is one of those places where all the buildings are white-washed and the streets are tight, cobblestone and decked with pots of vibrantly colored flowers. I desperately hope my pictures turned out from that outing.

My head has been full of ponderings, especially during the quiet evenings I spend in my little Casita. I've read 3 books already and am in the 4rth now. I've read these brilliant stories about brave missionaries venturing into the areas of N. Africa. All these single women who started what I am continuing fascinate me. The stories of their houses, ministries, encounters, and what-not are so enthralling and very convicting. I find myself disappointed in my character that I cannot find the courage to drop everything back home and run to the lost and hard to be in places of the world. I dread that lifestyle and I would much rather do without this one. The dear songs of Ginny Owens have been swirling around in my head all the weeks that I have been here, especially the song "If You Want Me To." It contains the lyrics: It may not be the way I would have chosen, when you lead me to a world that's not my home. But you didn't say it would be easy, you only said I'd never go alone. In those tired, dark, and lonely hours those words have been woven through my green blanket that I draw around my already too warm body. I hope all these ramblings don't come across wrong. I am learning here and enjoying myself, but my heart very much wants to be at home, back with the classes, familiarity and intimacy of my dear friends. The blessings become even more important when you have to force yourself to count them.

Well, lunch is coming close and I should wrap up my work for the 2 hour break. Now I must ideate about what I should make for my lunch. My creative ability seems to stop when it comes to cooking. I think a nap is called for as well. I will surely write again soon, at least when the procrastinating kicks in.